Life's Greatest Mysteries

New York City is the greatest city in the world. Sure it may not have the history of some other cities but moving into the present, this city has the most to offer and is the most important city in the world.

I say this as a biased New Yorker who has lived in Manhattan or no more than 40 minutes away my entire life. I've had the opportunity to see many sides of the city and from many angles. Whether it's just walking around my city and playing tourist (a spectator sport which always involves me mocking actual tourists), peering out from a rooftop or high floor apartment marvelling over the sheer size and beauty, or circling the island on my bike (bicycle, not motorcycle), there's nothing better, especially when it's sunny and in the 70s.

So where am I going with this? Among the marvels of NYC are some mysteries and secrets. There are rumors of an underground city accessible through the subway tunnels. And did you know that the Rockefeller family purchased some land across the Hudson River (in New Jersey) to ensure that the views from northern Manhattan will overlook a park rather than anything else so hideous that it could only come from Jersey?

One mystery which I apparently will never solve is what they are doing with the 59th Street Bridge. To avoid the tolls into Manhattan you can ride this span, also known as the Queensboro Bridge, from Long Island City (which is in Queens, not Long Island) to 59th Street on the east side of Manhattan. For years I've been going this way and notice cables, scaffolding and what looks like some tarp to keep debris from falling onto the roadway of the bridge from the upper portion of steel, cables, and whatnot [Editor's note: whatnot is not an actual construction term].

I've driven across this bridge hundreds of times at all hours yet have never seen anyone working on the bridge. In the last few weeks alone, I've been on the bridge early morning, mid-morning, mid- and late afternoon and early evening and late at night on weekdays and early afternoon and late nights on weekends. Many of those hours are off peak and are suitable for construction work. Yet I've never seen a hard hat, traffic cone, flashing yellow lights, spotlights or that annoying dude with the reflective vest and the orange flag.

Anyone want to take a stab at this one for me? What are they doing and when do they anticipate finishing it?

For more on this bridge, check out the Wikipedia entry here. And remember, if it's on Wikipedia, it has to be true!

I am Ted Mosby

If you've never heard of Hulu, take that rock you've been living under and bash your skull in with it. Hulu is the greatest gift the internet has given us since sliced bread delivered to your home (thank you Fresh Direct). I started watching a bunch of new television shows this season and thanks to Hulu I can catch them online when I have time.

One of my regulars is How I Met Your Mother. I started watching about a year ago and was all caught up in about 2 weeks.

The show used to start with a scene featuring two teenagers on a couch and the caption "2025." The narrator, voiced by Bob Saget, addressed those "kids" telling them the story about the time when...(cut to present for the actual episode). The idea is that all these stories lead to the story of how Ted Mosby (one of the main characters) met his wife and mother of those kids.

Anyway, last week's episode, entitled "Mosbius Designs" tells the story of Ted as he starts up his own architecture firm out of his apartment. Ted is an architect by trade who was working for a large firm up until recently. I too should have been an architect. Here I am, un(der)employed and in debt with a law degree, when I really want to work in real estate, maybe for a developer. If I had the architecture background I could be planning something better than the awful looking buildings sprouting up in Manhattan and surrounding boroughs. Of course at the same time I am working on a number of business ideas, one of which is real estate related.

Ted has had an interesting relationship history. Some noteworthy relationships include an on-again-off-again with Robin (the token Canadian main character), the overplayed relationship with the divorcee from Jersey (played by Sarah Chalke of Scrubs fame), and that girl who was crazy but Ted was too clueless to see that.

Do you really think I am going to run through my relationship history? HA! I will say that I never dated a Jersey girl but did have a Robin who was not born in the United States. Ted and I are both single. By 2025, Ted is married and has two teenage children. I see myself married with children then too.

There are more similarities but here are a few minor differences. I dress a lot better than Ted and do not own a pair of g-kwok approved red cowboy boots (which made another appearance this week). Ted has a much nicer apartment than me and also a hot (albeit Canadian and in real life very pregnant) roommate.

Catch How I Met Your Mother on Monday nights on CBS or on your favorite legal (or illegal) website. And please do not call me Theodore, Theo, or even Ted.

They say that we're dreaming too big. I say this town's too small!

-Ryan Star, Brand New Day (Theme to Lie to Me)
[This quote feature is new but expect something on every post based on a song stuck in my head or something related to this post]

The Courtesy Wave is only Dead in Spirit

Over the weekend I was carded at the Inc Lounge at the Time Hotel. One of the girls I was with got grilled about the information on her license because she looks young. [Confession of an un(der)employed JD: This girl was more than legal for me and could legally drink in the US for a few years now. This is not the story of how your Uncle DotCW got arrested.] Before I put my license away I started reviewing the content of my license. At that moment I realized that I've had my license for almost 10 years.

I do a lot of driving. My last car lease gave me 45,000 miles but I wound up driving close to 55,000 miles over those three years. Fortunately I switched cars with the 'rents who used mine for local driving so I can continue my 60-120 mile daily commutes without getting slammed for going over my mile allowance. Yet with all this driving I cannot recall the last time I was the recipient of the courtesy wave.

Take yesterday for example. After riding 24 miles in Central Park, I went to Long Island to mark the first beach day in New York. Because of traffic I took a different route. I'm on the Van Wyck and some old guy in a Chevy Impala cuts me off. I was about one and a half car lengths from the car in front of me but he just shot in there and slammed on his brakes causing me to stop short. Just before cutting me off he was bearing right to go on the Jackie Robinson but then swung left through that painted white triangle by the exit ramp. Next thing I know he's right in front of me.

You would think the old guy would have given me the courtesy, but NO! I can understand the young people (like me), many of whom grew up without a care in the world and everything revolving around them--the card carrying members of the I-society, as I prefer to call them. But this guy was from a different generation, from a time when everyone gave the courtesy wave, a time when you smiled and waved at the guy in the car stopped next to you at a red light because you probably knew him from somewhere (and if not, you still smiled and wave just to be polite) NOT to see who can get through the intersection first. Clearly I was mistaken.

Fast forward to today where I am still trying to bring back the courtesy wave. This may take some time but everyone can do their part. I stand here today to tell you that while the courtesy wave is on life support, this blog is not. With a little help from you, the future can be a bright one. With a little less laziness from me, this blog's future can be just as bright. Let's all do our part to create this wonderful future (and vote for me for _____ in 20__!!!)

[Editor's note: while reading over this post, I noticed a few instances of a blog post reading like a political speech. It is for that reason that I chose to end the post as I did.]

My Own Personal Mentos Commercial

The following takes place between the hours of 11:45am and 1:15pm on Monday, March 30, 2009.

Remember those Mentos commercials of old where someone would be in a pickle, pops in a Mentos (or is Mento the singular form?), and suddenly everything works out. Add the jingle and a big smile while you flash your pack of Mentos and BOOM, you have one of the more popular commercials from the 90's.

So two Monday's ago I had to get to court in Manhattan to make a filing deadline. [Yes, I was playing lawyer.] Early in the morning I was putting the finishing touches on the memos and motions on Wrong Island (Long Island to the rest of you) and spent two hours at Fedex-Kinkos copying, inserting tabs and exhibits, and finally binding the documents. Of course to complicate things, I had to be on Wall Street at 1pm for a networking group meeting (my first meeting with this group).

I got home from Fedkos (for short) knowing I would never make the train I planned for, that would allow me to not rush to the meeting. By the time I showered and suited up, I had to rush to make that next train. That train wasn't getting into Penn Station until about 12:35pm and then I would have to wait for a subway and find my way to this building I had never been to before. I figured worst case scenario I would get to the meeting 5 minutes in but thought the meeting would never start on time anyway.

I took a seat on the train with my iPod trying to catch my breath after a marathon morning. So far things were going okay and at least it wasn't raining! [No, I didn't jinx the weather by saying that.] The train pulled into the Jamaica station where I would have to pick up a connecting train. Sure enough I saw the electronic display indicating that that train was running five minutes late. I immediately call the person who invited me to attend the meeting to let him know there were delays and I would probably be late.

The train finally arrives but next thing I know I'm sitting on the connecting train for another ten minutes not moving. Just my luck. Back to the iPod until we pull into Penn Station. Fortunately I had a MetroCard in my wallet so at least I wouldn't have to stop and purchase a new one. WRONG! I had $1.05 and needed $2 for the ride. So now I had to wait in line at the machines to refill my card. As I go to swipe my card I heard a train pulling in. I ran up the stairs hoping that of the 2 trains that run both uptown and downtown (4 possible trains) the train that just pulled in was mine and praying that the doors were still open.

It was the express 3-train heading downtown! Exactly what I wanted and I made it just in time for the famous "Stand clear of the closing doors please." Not thinking about anything I popped a Mentos (Mento just sounds funny) in my mouth because I needed a little sugar. As I settled into my seat for until the Wall Street stop I realized that I just starred in my own Mentos commerical. All that was missing was the perfect smile and the flash of the Mentos with the label facing the camera.

In case you're wondering I was only about 5 minutes late. The subway stop was right next door to the building I needed to be at and they had just started. Everyone was in the conference room and of course there were no more chairs so a receptionist ran to get one leaving me standing in the corner while they proceeded. It all worked out in the end and I made sure to arrive early to yesterday's meeting. I also was able to make it to court after the meeting and filed the documents just before the filing deadline.

This got me thinking...They obviously still sell Mentos mints and candies but they stopped with the commericals. Why??? Search on YouTube for Mentos commericals and you'll see the old spots and many parodies.

This is my favorite parody which also happens to be a music video from the Foo Fighters (they used to make such creative videos)



[10 points if you tell me why I tagged Scrubs in this post. I know the opening sounds right out of 24.]

Don't you hate it when this happens...

Reporters call Hillary Clinton, get phone sex line
From CNN Ticker Producer Alexander Mooney

(CNN) – Journalists who dialed in to a White House conference call Thursday hoping for a media-friendly reception got a far friendlier response than they were counting on.

Instead of hearing Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and National Security Advisor Jim Jones on the other end laying out foreign policy and security threats, reporters were greeted by a recording on a phone sex line.

"Do you have any hidden desires? If you feel like getting nasty, then you came to the right place," said a suggestive-sounding woman.

The White House says an aide merely mistyped the 800-dial in number — a mistake not likely to happen again.

It's a new administration, but an old problem: Some homeowners seeking mortgage relief from a Bush administration hotline in 2007 instead reached a Texas-based group that provides Christian education after President Bush slightly jumbled the correct number at a press briefing.

http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2009/04/02/reporters-want-hillary-clinton-get-phone-sex-line/


Z-Man's take: Guess it's a nice change from when calls to phone sex lines originated in the White House. Then again, I never thought I would read anything about sex and that other Clinton fella in the same sentence. Oh how things come to a complete circle.

Happy Friday!

I'm Alive

Just wanted to let everyone know that Z-Man is alive and well and will be back with regular posts before you can name every country and capital on this great planet.

Which reminds me...for my next vacation, I wanna go to Phuket, Thailand. Not because I like Thai food (they just call it food) but because it's funny when people try to pronounce it.

HINT: it does not rhyme with bucket.