Sunday, May 24, 2009

Ode to Summer

Summer is officially here everybody! Who's excited? I can't hear you. I said, "who's excited?" I could either sit here and retype that exchange until I start hearing actual voices or I can go on with my post. It might make an interesting read for you guys if I went nuts over a blog post and wind up a like a stunt dummy on Harper's Island (if you don't get the reference, only 6 episodes to catch up on).

Most of us probably got out of work early on Friday (myself included) so we can really make the most of the long holiday weekend. I can tell you that here in the NYC area, the weather has been great since early last week. [Editor's note: It may be longer than that but my memory will only go back that far.] I bet your weekend plans are probably very similar to mine and likely involve the 3-B's--beaches, barbecues, and booze. Ironically [Editor's note: there is no actual irony here, but I like the way the word fits] we all tend to forget the real reason we have this long weekend.

Folks, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the start of summer is not an actual holiday. I, for one, has been to the beach about a dozen times already. I don't make a habit of wearing white but if I did, it wouldn't necessarily start now or end on Labor Day. Then again I don't travel with the snooty crowd and go yachting with men in crested blazers and women who wear big hats. Does Memorial Day mean anything anymore?

So while this is the first official day of summer, beaches can now charge us to tan, and we can start wearing white again (but only until Labor Day), please don't forget what's really important. On this memorial day, make a point to remember all those men and women who fought for this country and continue to keep us safe. This year we should also remember that Nancy Pelosi is a threat to national security (but that's another post for another time).

Time for the Z-Man to get his barbecue ready for tonight. Be safe!



Tuesday, May 19, 2009

And for those keeping score at home...

...and you should be, let's have a little recap based on yesterday's post:

1. I got three less than friendly emails regarding a sarcastic comment about abortion. Look, it's your body do what you want--until it becomes my child!

2. I was tempted to watch last night's episode of How I Met Your Mother again just for laughs (but I didn't)

3. I was however so inspired by that episode that my period of inspiration extended to this exact moment in time as I type this, making this two posts in two days (again, for those of you keeping score at home and I know you are)

4. I was also able to keep my promise of making today productive. I sent out those emails I needed to respond to but kept pushing off, sent out several resumes for job postings, and dealt with my stupid insurance company for hopefully the last time. I also spent 3 solid hours doing legal research and actually learned something! I even set up my calendar on my pocketPC for the next two weeks. This is actually a big step because it also means I got to throw out scattered post-it notes and little pieces of paper with small notes on them. The rest of my day was so much less important that even if I had Twitter and was the uber-twit (or is that uber-tweet), I still wouldn't tweet those details.

5. Of course the productivity ended a little after 5pm when I got a call asking if I wanted to go play tennis. I'm not all that good at tennis but I have a tendency to drop what I'm doing to play most sports. I hope to improve on both my tennis and golf games over the summer so stay tuned. Either way, after tennis, I showered and went for dinner and then it was bum-city for the rest of the night until now, as I type this. At least my day ended on a productive note!

Credits
Steve Somers - host of local sports radio show on WFAN; known for using that line on the air referring to either ad numbers or segment numbers (I don't recall having stopped listening to "The Fan" many years ago with the exception of actual sporting events)

Ted Mosby - see earlier posts

"We all wanna live forever
we all wanna be something, someday
ready to face whatever's yet to come
and I'm starting it all today"
Stir - Climbing the Walls

Monday, May 18, 2009

Kids, let me tell you about the time when...

...I finally got around to posting on this blog.

It's amazing that since January, I went from daily posts to posting on weekly basis. I'm still here so at least I kept one of my resolutions. It's not that I have nothing to write or that I don't care about my loyal readers (I'm optimistic that there's more than one). I come up with ideas for posts all the time but never actually get around to writing about them. I have a saved draft which contains a list of topics so I don't forget them but by the time I get around to write about them, they are no longer current so I exercise my pinkie and reach for that backspace key.

Of course today's edition was more than just to give another reason for lack of frequent posts. I was inspired to blog tonight after watching the season finale of How I Met Your Mother. As you probably gathered from previous posts (or the fact that I have a HIMYM tag) I'm quite a fan of the show. Well tonight's show was so inspirational that I actually used the word "inspire" twice.

SPOILER ALERT: IF YOU DID NOT SEE THE EPISODE YET, WATCH IT ONLINE AND CONTINUE READING IN 22 MINUTES. I WILL TRY NOT TO REVEAL ANYTHING CRUCIAL TO THE EPISODE BUT WATCH THE SHOW ANYWAY.

First, a quick round of "What Did We Learn" from tonight's episode?
To "pull a Mosby" means to tell a girl (or other half) how much you love her just so she can say no and push you away. In short, a great way to sabotage a relationship. (Exhibit A: Ted and Robin)

The show ended with the message to take that leap. [Editor's note: This is not a public service announcement condoning suicide. This leap is actually a metaphor if you choose to keep reading. But while I'm on the subject, maybe some people should just jump off their nearest tall structure. And while I'm being mean and hateful, over the many years of my life, I've season several examples of why abortion should be legal at all stages of pregnancy.]

...But I digress.

If you aren't completely repulsed by my views or attitude, back to this post. All the characters were facing some sort of struggle or challenge and rather than leave us the typical season finale cliffhanger (beyond the never ending question as to who is the mother) they all took a leap. I will not tell you what they did or how it played out, but I too am going to take a leap.

After a lazy day doing a little work-related research and not much else, I am declaring tomorrow a day of more productivity. I made a list of all the things I want to accomplish. A wise man once said "The road to productivity starts with a list." He also said "The road to discovery begins with scrapping that list" but I don't want to go there yet.

The leap started with this post, will continue tomorrow with a productive day (until I lose my list or get distracted), and will extend to an ongoing covert operation with Agent RW. Hopefully I will stay productive and ultimately score a new job.

That's all folks!

"Go on, get up, get out, don't even think about it,
you don't need to leave it behind but you can live without it,
jump in your car like you're ready to ride
You got a buck forty-five left to keep you alive"
-My Favorite Highway, Getaway Car

Monday, May 11, 2009

Tales of an Un(der)employed JD

During this period of un(der)employment, I try to keep myself busy during off hours. In that time I'll take care of some errands, catch up on the news, read some of my favorite blogs, search for jobs and...wait for it...workout (gasp!).

My job search consists of frequent trips to various job boards. I check my law school, job boards specifically geared toward the legal practice, as well giants like Monster and Career Builder. None has proven to be all that fruitful. I can't forget good ol' reliable Craigslist.

On Craigslist, I went from applying to posts only when the one posting the position indicates the firm/company to anything that doesn't look like a 6 year old wrote it. At this point my resume gets around like a ______ (I'll let you fill this one in yourselves).

[Editor's note: If Phillip Markoff reads this blog and somehow obtained my resume, please don't kill me.]

While searching Craigslist, I came across this post which I just had to share with you guys. Since Craigslist deletes old postings, I copied it here for your reading pleasure. Enjoy!

ASSociate Attorney (Midtown West)

Reply to: job-ekpzv-1159642218@craigslist.org
Date: 2009-05-07, 5:25PM EDT

Small, congenial law firm needs top notch associate attorney to join our exceptional team. Please do not apply if you do not meet the following requirmenets:

1. Top half of the class at Harvard, Yale, UPenn, U Michigan, or Georgetown; top 10% at U Chicago, Boalt or UCLA. Top 1% everywhere else.
2. Law review and/or moot court experience a MUST.
3. Federal Clerkship REQUIRED.
4. Must be willing to accept $28,000 per year. $10,000 bonus for billing over 2500 hours a year. The bonus is pro-rata more, so it is worth the extra billing.
5. Must be willing to make coffee every hour, on the hour. The position is open becuase our last associate sustained severe burns from the hot plate in which the coffee post rests. We had to discharge him as he required too much "leave" time.
6. Insurance after two years, with employee contribution at 50%.
7. Must be willing to share a desk with a paralegal. She said you can have the top drawer.
8. Must be in the office by 8am, and remain until 10pm. On Fridays, you can leave by 9:30pm.
9. Must be a team player. Please send resume to the link above.

Good luck- hope to see you soon!
Compensation: $28,000

Original Source: http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/lgl/1159642218.html

"Just killing time watching all of the fads pass by
behind a window in a bar on the Upper East Side,
but I'll wait cuz it's never too late in the race
take a sip with a smile on my face (yeah)"
Brian Desveaux, New Wave

Friday, May 8, 2009

TGIF

Well this was a great week. In New York it rained every day since Sunday and now it's finally sunny. If it were up to me, the coming out of the sun should signal the end of the work week for all in the New York area who had to deal with this weather.

I should note that there was a three hour break in the rain on Wednesday. Just in time for the Mets game which I had tickets for. More on that over the weekend when I have more time.

This was a long and trying week for me so rather than a cheery post, you get to read another post taken from the Opie and Anthony playbook. Opie and Anthony are a radio show that invented the F-U Friday. They have a dedicated phone line for those who wish to rant about something or give someone the big F-U. This is not my first F-U Friday entry. For those less regular readers, here is another.

About a month ago I bought second round playoff tickets for the New York Rangers. They were eliminated in the first round so the game never happened. $500 later and five weeks later TicketMaster finally credited me $497.

Why not the full $500? Well after speaking to a sales rep (read: not customer service) they told me that their policy was that this charge was nonrefundable. I asked to be transferred to someone whom I can speak to about that and he transferred me to customer service. [Editors Note: I would be remiss if I did not give them a kudos, as everyone I spoke with at TicketMaster was American and spoke English well.]

The first rep I spoke with told me that was part of the terms I agreed to when I made the purchase. Does anyone actually read the terms to any of these transactions or do they just hit submit? Not that I likely would have read the terms of sale more carefully, I did not exactly have time.

You see, TicketMaster puts a time limit on each stage of the checkout process. If that time runs out, you lose the seats. So while I had 2 minutes to accept the seats they offered me and then maybe 4 minutes to enter my personal information and credit card, there was no time to go through the pages and pages of fine print. While on hold waiting for a supervisor, I had 10 minutes to check out their website and buried in, they mention that this fee is nonrefundable.

I know it's only $3 but there's the principle behind this matter. Everyone assumes that items can be returned (unused or unopened) for a refund. Why should this be any different? I never liked TicketMaster for a number of reasons. First, they are a monopoly. This is really the only site to purchase tickets to large events. Unless I go directly to a physical box office, most venues direct me to the TicketMaster site to purchase tickets. It's almost impossible for someone else to come and provide the means to sell tickets to major events (resellers don't count). Second, they charge fees for every little thing, adding almost $10 to the cost of the ticket. It would be even more if I had them overnight the tickets but I cheaped out and chose regular mail.

The long version of this story includes one supervisor getting snippy with me and then hanging out and when I called back to speak to someone else, I sat on hold for quite some time.

In the end I got my $3 refunded but that doesn't change anything. Today, TicketMaster is honored on this very special Friday.

Happy Friday!

"Friday night, Saturday, Sunday morning
just waiting for the afternoon so I can be a kid again."
-Edna's Goldfish, Veronica Sawyer

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

So this is the new year...

...and I feel VERY different!

My first real post on this blog (aside from the initial press conference to launch this) had the same title and opening. So what's the difference between this post and that first one? Well, with all my free time I've had the chance to compare where I am now to where I was a year ago at this time. Needless to say, this is the new year and I feel very, VERY different. For starters I now own some new(er) Death Cab for Cutie songs and can't get "Cath..." out of my head.

Most importantly, however, I am not sitting in a law library at this exact moment in time. In fact whenever you read this post, a year ago to the second I was probably be sitting in a law library.

For the past three years, prior to 2009, starting around April 15th I would take over a corner of the law library and prepare my outlines and study for the May exams. My only breaks would be class, food, and bathrooms. There were also occasional breaks to watch New York Rangers playoff games (with my notes) in the lounge and to go home to sleep and shower. Once exam period began, I spent about 15 hours a day in the school building studying. Makes you want to be an attorney!!!

It gets better. Really. Last year, for instance, April 15th marked the start of the summer of discontent [Editor's note: I wanted to include the track with the same name but couldn't find it]. After the marathon that is law school exams, a two-month ordeal known as bar prep began. This rite of passage kept me indoors for June and July. The closest thing this beach bum got to see of the beach was his weekly 6am bike ride along the south shore of Long Island before class. In 2008, summer began on August 1. Now do you want to be an attorney???

I am now enjoying my time not in school. My schedule does not revolve around classes but instead revolves around work, finding a new job, and trying to launch a new business. What will the rest of 2009 bring? Who knows?

2009 is more than 1/3 completed. Do you feel any different?

"We're going off the deepest end
to the summer of discontent,
I could be wrong,
I could alone,
I could pretend I'm superman"
-Corey, Summer of Discontent

Monday, May 4, 2009

I got a wave!!!

The name of this sad excuse for a blog is Death of the Courtesy wave, so it goes to follow that a number of posts relate to the actual courtesy wave. The courtesy wave is actually a metaphor of society as we know it, as depicted in a number of other posts labeled I-Society.

Now that I got that out of the way for the two people who may be confused, back to business. It is with great pleasure that I announce that this past weekend I got the wave!

I was in the city on Sunday with a friend, just minding my own business and out of nowhere, there it was...A hand directed at me with all five fingers extended. [Editor's note: I felt the need to add that last part because I have received a fraction of those fingers on many occasions.] I wish I could tell you what street I was on but unfortunately I got so cought up in the moment that the rest of the details are vague. It's like the opposite of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

And now to burst your collective bubbles...

Yes, the wave was real. Yes, it was in Manhattan. Yes, it was directed towards me. BUT I happened to be on my bicycle at the time (which is allowed) and the person waving to me was also on a bicycle.

I'm not going to get all preachy about being green and riding a bicycle because that is not me at all. On Earth Day I did not go out and get a Prius. I did however tell a bunch of people on the street trying to get me to become greener that they can do their part in cutting back on carbon dioxide (an alleged greenhouse gas) released if they would only stop breathing. Needless to say that while I don't "intentionally" destroy the environment, the vehicle that takes my bicycle to the place I go riding is usually an SUV that gets about 18-19 miles per gallon on the highway.

I'll tell you all about the ride in a later post but the point is that we should all take note of this cyclist's conduct and learn from him. I take part in a number of long distance cycling events and have found cyclists to be the friendliest and most courteous bunch around. This Sunday's event was no exception. Of all the riders on Sunday, I would say that a good 75% of those I encountered signalled to indicate a move they were about to make and then responded with a friendly wave.

Maybe it's because over the years we have learned the necessity to signal so we don't get hit by a car rather than actually being a good person, but whatever the reason, I'll take it. I get a little satisfaction in believing that if they signalled just so they don't get hit by a car, that incentive would no longer exist when there are only bicycles around them, yet they still signal.

Have you ever heard of the rival Cannondale and Schwinn biker gangs?

"I want to ride my bicycle,
I want to ride my bike"
-Queen, Bicycle Race

Friday, May 1, 2009

Do you like tofu?

Happy Friday everyone! The sky is blue, the birds are singing, what can go wrong? Okay, that was actually LAST weekend here in NYC. This weekend calls for 50s and 60s with rain. AWESOME!!! Should be perfect for the 5-Boro Bike Tour on Sunday. If you happen to be in any of those boroughs look for the guy on the black bike with the red helmet. That would be yours truly.

The week is over for me so I will try to give you a nugget of humor to help pass the time until you can start your weekend. Today's pick is ripped straight from the headlines. That's right folks, I am not making this up.

A Denver woman was denied her vanity plate containing the text "ILVTOFU." A vegetarian and mother of three (who also probably only eat the food that my food eats) requested this plate as a way to express herself and her love for all things not animal. The multi-grain woman was shocked when she learned that her request was denied. In fact the news left her a little crunchy. [These jokes just write themselves]. She was so miffed that she almost had a cow (I like mine medium-rare).

The state claimed that her message was obscene and they make a compelling case. One could easily read the plate as I-LV-TOFU, as the woman sought, or the state's reading of I-LV-TO-F-U. Maybe the state did a background check and found that she was arrested for lewd conduct on a number of occasions or was busted for prostitution. At risk of being hit with a slander suit, DotCW staff has not been able to confirm the allegations of her past and are provided solely for the purpose of humor.

Is this a case of bias towards the oat bran bunch? PETA reportedly offered to pay the $60 fee for the vanity plates so that should be enough reason to deny the request. Anyone that cannot enjoy a good steak or thinks that they can squeeze a soy and get milk probably needs a little more cow in their diet. If we've learned anything from "Meet the Parents," it's that you can't milk a soy. For those of you who do not believe anything in movies, take Lewis Black's word for it. If Sir Lewis Black (he has not actually been knighted but I use it as a term of respect) says it, then you know it's true.

Back to the news, this is the same state that denied plates such as 3RDFNGER and VINO. Do we want to protect kids from seeing these license plates and asking their parents what the big deal is about the third finger? What's the difference when they are probably going to see the middle finger first hand anyway and ask what that guy over with his finger out the window is going?

[Courtesy of ABC Denver. Actual story can be found here]

Happy Friday!!!

We wear our apathy with Abercrombie pride,
Cuz not caring is the latest fashion.

-Sprout, Lifecycle