Happy Friday!

To all my loyal readers, my sincerest apologies for not posting much lately. It's been a very busy week and I've been a little under the weather. Speaking of which, what does that even mean???

Today's Friday session with yours truly will be devoted to sayings that make absolutely no sense or just rub me the wrong way.

1. Under the weather
We all know this to mean that someone isn't feeling well. That could span anything from a lil tummy ache to projectile vomiting to a mild cough. But how does that have anything to do with being under the weather? Earlier this week we got about 5 inches of snow in New York. When I left my house, it snowed on me. Then, and only then, was I under the weather. When the suns rays burn my skin while I'm laying on the beach in August, Captain Weatherman would say it's sunny, and again, I would probably be under the weather. But when I'm sitting around my house and I'm seeing weather out my window that doesn't impact on me in any way until I step outside and it actually hits me.

2. Rubs me the wrong way
Anytime you hang out with a large crowd, there's always this one guy/girl who just irks you. Some say that person "rubs you the wrong way." Unless your nemesis is a licensed masseuse, chances are they are not rubbing you the wrong way. Right now I've have my Swedish "assistant" (she's definitely not a Sven) giving my a full body massage while I dictate this post to my midget personal secretary at the computer. She's rubbing me the right way, but if she did something wrong, I would surely point it out to her and tell her that she was rubbing me the wrong way.

3. Sounds like a plan
Now my personal favorite! If I tell you that I'll pick you up at 7pm and we'll go for sushi, can't you simply say "I'll see you then?" NO. That would be asking too much. Instead you have to say "sounds like a plan." I guess it is technically a plan, but it's rather weak. Maybe we should try this: You flash the valet and I'll steal all the keys till I find the nicest car on the lot. Then I'll drop the top, pull up to the front and while you're dancing in front of the valets you'll jump into the car as I speed away. We'll pull into my friend Vinnie's body shop for a quick license plate and registration swap and he'll pry off the VIN. Maybe he'll add a racing strips across the hood and trunk. Then we'll sneak out a side exit, avoid all cops, and drive off into the sunset where I'll pull over so we can eat sushi and watch the sun set. Now THAT is a plan!