Wow, it's been awhile since I painted this space with letters, words, sentences, and assorted drivel. It's been a very interesting ride to say the least. A lot has happened since May and in due time I will catch you all up on all the craziness.
Before the recap of the past seven months, that I will try to condense to something that one can read over a coast-to-coast flight (you do still recall my knack for succinctness), I would like to announce some changes that will take place here at DotCW.
Last year was an experiment in blogging. Now, expect a slightly more professional style (translation: no more typos). That experiment lasted only five months but this time I plan to keep it going for the long haul. The topics will remain the same although a Digitus Medius spinoff is not out of the question. I will continue to post random musings and rant about anything, but I will also post updates on my business developments. Don't worry, this will not become a business blog. I will still keep things light the only way I know how--sarcasm and mono-syllabic words.
So here's what you all missed. I'm sure you will instantly recognize the tune (it's quite popular among my Jews).
12 weeks using Twitter,
11 weeks learning Twitter,
10 trips to the beach,
9 something somethings,
8 commandments broken,
7 month blog hiatus,
6 states visited,
5 dollar (parking) ticket,
4 failed '09 resolutions,
3 new blogs followed,
2 surgeries,
and few surprising courtesy waves!
Happy 2010 Internet People!!!
Showing posts with label Digitus Medius. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Digitus Medius. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
And Now, Some Good News!
After 2 nominess for the Digitus Medius Awards in the last week alone (here and here), I don't want you to think that I am a full time hater. Ok, so I am a full time hater but that just wasn't the direction I wanted to take this blog.
I woke up this morning asking myself if there was some good news or some surprisingly positive story I can report on today. It only took 2 hours to find material for today's post.
As you know, I'm trying to start 3 businesses. They're coming along very slowly. The actual business plans are in the works and so far I bought a laser printer and two pieces of software. Total cost: free after rebates (I'm real good).
One piece of software I ordered online two weeks ago and downloaded from the manufacturer's website. Today I finally got to installing it. Sounds easy, but of course my computer decided to reject the software like a kidney. Now I'm generally very good with computers but this problem just didn't want to go away and the software could not be installed. I wound up calling customer service-GASP!!!
I've had my trouble with customer service in the past. The last thing I wanted was to speak to some guy named George Smith who sports a thick Indian accent. Just my luck, I get a guy with a common American name and a thick South-Asian accent. It turned out that this guy was uber-helpful. He talked me through re-downloading the software (which took 20 minutes on my DSL connection) and stayed with me the whole time, guiding me step by step through the installation.
I still received the same error messages as I did when I installed the software myself but we determined that it was my computer and not the software. This guy even went out of his way to try to talk me through the computer problem--which is not part of his job, but just because he happens to know about computers and not just how to read a customer service manual. He diagnosed the problem but was unable to solve it without gaining access to my PC (yeah, not a chance). Either way, I now know what to do when I fix the computer problem.
So today we salute you, Mr. South-Asian with American name tech support guy.
I woke up this morning asking myself if there was some good news or some surprisingly positive story I can report on today. It only took 2 hours to find material for today's post.
As you know, I'm trying to start 3 businesses. They're coming along very slowly. The actual business plans are in the works and so far I bought a laser printer and two pieces of software. Total cost: free after rebates (I'm real good).
One piece of software I ordered online two weeks ago and downloaded from the manufacturer's website. Today I finally got to installing it. Sounds easy, but of course my computer decided to reject the software like a kidney. Now I'm generally very good with computers but this problem just didn't want to go away and the software could not be installed. I wound up calling customer service-GASP!!!
I've had my trouble with customer service in the past. The last thing I wanted was to speak to some guy named George Smith who sports a thick Indian accent. Just my luck, I get a guy with a common American name and a thick South-Asian accent. It turned out that this guy was uber-helpful. He talked me through re-downloading the software (which took 20 minutes on my DSL connection) and stayed with me the whole time, guiding me step by step through the installation.
I still received the same error messages as I did when I installed the software myself but we determined that it was my computer and not the software. This guy even went out of his way to try to talk me through the computer problem--which is not part of his job, but just because he happens to know about computers and not just how to read a customer service manual. He diagnosed the problem but was unable to solve it without gaining access to my PC (yeah, not a chance). Either way, I now know what to do when I fix the computer problem.
So today we salute you, Mr. South-Asian with American name tech support guy.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Digitus Medius Award Nominee #2
It seems like just yesterday I introduced the Digitus Medius Award and announced the first nominee. Well considering the world we live in (the I-Society) this second nominee comes as no surprise...
FOR SALE: Kidney - gently used, asking $1,500,000 or best offer
The New York Post reports that Dr. Richard Batista is asking his ex-wife for his kidney back. In 2001, Dr. Batista's wife needed a kidney and the husband was a match. They divorced in 2005 and he claims that after the way he was treated, he now wants his kidney back. The doctor alleges that she cheated on him and then dragged him through an ugly divorce. Divorce lawyer to the stars (on Long Island, at least) Dominic Barbara insists that he doesn't actually want the kidney back, rather he just wants the value of that kidney, which apparently is a cool $1.5 million. CAN I GET A PRICE CHECK IN AISLE 7? Why he didn't just factor that into the divorce settlement boggles the mind! Someone has been reading a little too deeply into the concept of "an eye for an eye."
Now I called the writer at the New York Post and I got the scoop. What the media is withholding from the rest of you commoners is that this family squabble is just another way to make money. Think of the merchandising possibilities. This "couple" has already made a number of filings with the US Patent and Trademark Office.
The real story goes something like this: The couple is actually a lot closer than just husband and wife. In fact my sources say that they are not even married. They are however brother and sister. Let's be honest here--the odds of being a perfect match to donate a kidney is 1 in 700,000. That means that in the United States there are only 428 possible matches. Somehow the ex-wife found a husband and match for kidney donor within that pool of 428--YEAH RIGHT!
As a J.D. not yet admitted, I feel the need to point out that the sale of organs is illegal in the US. Furthermore, the kidney was donated when they were on good terms and was a GIFT. Gifts by nature are irrevocable. Sorry Doc but KABOOM--you've been lawyered!
If this woman was as awful as you made her to be, and cheated on you as you allege, why didn't you come out better in the divorce? If the wife didn't obey a custody order take her to court again. Here's an idea: while she's sleeping, break into her house and cut out the kidney yourself (you are a doctor); spare us and leave the courts out of this too. To ask for the kidney back and seek all this attention is pathetic. Or do what the rest of us do, have her give a mutual friend all your personal items and you do the same. That friend will return all the items to their original owners.
Dr. Richard Batista, you are the second nominee for a Digitus Medius Award! Expect an invitation to the newest award show early next year.
FOR SALE: Kidney - gently used, asking $1,500,000 or best offer
The New York Post reports that Dr. Richard Batista is asking his ex-wife for his kidney back. In 2001, Dr. Batista's wife needed a kidney and the husband was a match. They divorced in 2005 and he claims that after the way he was treated, he now wants his kidney back. The doctor alleges that she cheated on him and then dragged him through an ugly divorce. Divorce lawyer to the stars (on Long Island, at least) Dominic Barbara insists that he doesn't actually want the kidney back, rather he just wants the value of that kidney, which apparently is a cool $1.5 million. CAN I GET A PRICE CHECK IN AISLE 7? Why he didn't just factor that into the divorce settlement boggles the mind! Someone has been reading a little too deeply into the concept of "an eye for an eye."Now I called the writer at the New York Post and I got the scoop. What the media is withholding from the rest of you commoners is that this family squabble is just another way to make money. Think of the merchandising possibilities. This "couple" has already made a number of filings with the US Patent and Trademark Office.
The real story goes something like this: The couple is actually a lot closer than just husband and wife. In fact my sources say that they are not even married. They are however brother and sister. Let's be honest here--the odds of being a perfect match to donate a kidney is 1 in 700,000. That means that in the United States there are only 428 possible matches. Somehow the ex-wife found a husband and match for kidney donor within that pool of 428--YEAH RIGHT!
As a J.D. not yet admitted, I feel the need to point out that the sale of organs is illegal in the US. Furthermore, the kidney was donated when they were on good terms and was a GIFT. Gifts by nature are irrevocable. Sorry Doc but KABOOM--you've been lawyered!
If this woman was as awful as you made her to be, and cheated on you as you allege, why didn't you come out better in the divorce? If the wife didn't obey a custody order take her to court again. Here's an idea: while she's sleeping, break into her house and cut out the kidney yourself (you are a doctor); spare us and leave the courts out of this too. To ask for the kidney back and seek all this attention is pathetic. Or do what the rest of us do, have her give a mutual friend all your personal items and you do the same. That friend will return all the items to their original owners.
Dr. Richard Batista, you are the second nominee for a Digitus Medius Award! Expect an invitation to the newest award show early next year.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Digitus Medius Award Nominee #1
On behalf of myself, I would like to announce a new award to go along with the Academy Awards, Grammys, Webbys, and Darwins. This award is called the Digitus Medius and nominees will be announced as they enter the fold.
For those of you who never took Latin, this one needs no transation. [Confession: I never took Latin either] If you're still lost, google it. The Digitus Medius Award is exactly what it sounds like. It's a trophy a with giant Digitus Medius at the top.
How does one earn a Digitus Medius?
Simple. You just need to do something really stupid or something that merits the the hate of many (or just me).
The first nominee is NBC. I mentioned last post how I am such a huge fan of the show Scrubs. It's their last season and they are trying to bring back as many former castmembers as they can, similar to what ER is doing. Of course NBC had to ruin their plans.
After doing reasonably well for NBC for six seasons, NBC decided to return the favor by refusing to allow former castmembers who now appear on other NBC shows to appear on Scrubs (now on ABC). This means we don't get to see the return of Masi Oka as Frnaklin the lab tech or Sarah Lancaster as J.D.'s ex-girlfriend the Gift Shop Girl (Lisa), who are now on Heroes and Chuck respectively. I personally didn't even realize that Sarah played Gift Shop Girl.
Congratulations to the people at NBC for become the first nominee! Expect an invitation to the red carpet event and award show early next year.
For those of you who never took Latin, this one needs no transation. [Confession: I never took Latin either] If you're still lost, google it. The Digitus Medius Award is exactly what it sounds like. It's a trophy a with giant Digitus Medius at the top.
How does one earn a Digitus Medius?
Simple. You just need to do something really stupid or something that merits the the hate of many (or just me).
The first nominee is NBC. I mentioned last post how I am such a huge fan of the show Scrubs. It's their last season and they are trying to bring back as many former castmembers as they can, similar to what ER is doing. Of course NBC had to ruin their plans.
After doing reasonably well for NBC for six seasons, NBC decided to return the favor by refusing to allow former castmembers who now appear on other NBC shows to appear on Scrubs (now on ABC). This means we don't get to see the return of Masi Oka as Frnaklin the lab tech or Sarah Lancaster as J.D.'s ex-girlfriend the Gift Shop Girl (Lisa), who are now on Heroes and Chuck respectively. I personally didn't even realize that Sarah played Gift Shop Girl.
Congratulations to the people at NBC for become the first nominee! Expect an invitation to the red carpet event and award show early next year.
Monday, January 5, 2009
Death of the Courtesy Wave and Ode to Mr. Potts
I promised I would explain the title of this blog, so here goes...
For years I've noticed a decline in standards in all aspects of life. Now by no means am I perfect. I am, however, better than everyone else.
Since I have a tendency to ramble on and on, I thought I might some day write a book about life which would serve a as humorous road map (or cautionary tale). This was going to be the title of that book.
So where did this golden phrase come from? Funny you ask! I've been driving for over 10 years now. While I like to consider myself a calm person, these years of driving produced what I like to call selective road rage. I have ZERO tolerance for stupidity. If you decide to move all the way to the right on a single lane street and then come to a stop in the middle of the street with no indication of what you're about to do (not that you have any options other than going straight), I will assume the position behind the wheel (no, not the digitus medius out the window) but my patented "one foot on the break, one hand on the horn" for as long as it takes for you to realize that you're an idiot.
Also, I've noticed that nobody gives the ol' courtesy wave when someone lets them in. It is a dying art that I am doing my part to preserve. I was fortunate to have a good instructor for Drivers Ed (the class to get your license a year early--I mean make you a better driver). The instructor's name was Mr. Potts. He was a tall, older man with thin, wavy hair and rocked the 'stache. He probably was a hippie back in the day. Every week he came to my high school in his 1991 Plymouth Acclaim. He taught us to perfectly parallel park and the k-turn/y-turn/three-point-turn. He made sure we waved when someone let us in on the highway or when we approached a stop sign at an intersection at the same time as the other 3 cars or to the creepy guy in the neighborhood who waved at all the passing cars.
I love driving around Manhattan and having a car around. I've been cut-off my share of times and cut many people off (mostly cabs, but they deserve it). I have yet to receive a courtesy wave, not counting the woman with a stroller who had the right of way and I was patiently waiting to make a right turn.
On a related note, I don't buy into the stereotypes about certain groups as drivers. I am an equal opportunity hater if you drive like Stevie Wonder (because he's blind not cuz he would have an Escalade with 22" chrome rims and thinks he owns the road).
The courtesy wave is neither the cause or effect of society's downfall, rather a symptom. It will serve as my inspiration for many posts to this blog. Just sit back, relax, and enjoy the $8 tub of popcorn.
[In case you were wondering, that driver was so kind to wave me to pass him and go over the double-yellow. I passed him and watch through my mirror as he tried to make a u-turn but fail miserably. He should take a few sessions with Mr. Potts!]
For years I've noticed a decline in standards in all aspects of life. Now by no means am I perfect. I am, however, better than everyone else.
Since I have a tendency to ramble on and on, I thought I might some day write a book about life which would serve a as humorous road map (or cautionary tale). This was going to be the title of that book.
So where did this golden phrase come from? Funny you ask! I've been driving for over 10 years now. While I like to consider myself a calm person, these years of driving produced what I like to call selective road rage. I have ZERO tolerance for stupidity. If you decide to move all the way to the right on a single lane street and then come to a stop in the middle of the street with no indication of what you're about to do (not that you have any options other than going straight), I will assume the position behind the wheel (no, not the digitus medius out the window) but my patented "one foot on the break, one hand on the horn" for as long as it takes for you to realize that you're an idiot.
Also, I've noticed that nobody gives the ol' courtesy wave when someone lets them in. It is a dying art that I am doing my part to preserve. I was fortunate to have a good instructor for Drivers Ed (the class to get your license a year early--I mean make you a better driver). The instructor's name was Mr. Potts. He was a tall, older man with thin, wavy hair and rocked the 'stache. He probably was a hippie back in the day. Every week he came to my high school in his 1991 Plymouth Acclaim. He taught us to perfectly parallel park and the k-turn/y-turn/three-point-turn. He made sure we waved when someone let us in on the highway or when we approached a stop sign at an intersection at the same time as the other 3 cars or to the creepy guy in the neighborhood who waved at all the passing cars.
I love driving around Manhattan and having a car around. I've been cut-off my share of times and cut many people off (mostly cabs, but they deserve it). I have yet to receive a courtesy wave, not counting the woman with a stroller who had the right of way and I was patiently waiting to make a right turn.
On a related note, I don't buy into the stereotypes about certain groups as drivers. I am an equal opportunity hater if you drive like Stevie Wonder (because he's blind not cuz he would have an Escalade with 22" chrome rims and thinks he owns the road).
The courtesy wave is neither the cause or effect of society's downfall, rather a symptom. It will serve as my inspiration for many posts to this blog. Just sit back, relax, and enjoy the $8 tub of popcorn.
[In case you were wondering, that driver was so kind to wave me to pass him and go over the double-yellow. I passed him and watch through my mirror as he tried to make a u-turn but fail miserably. He should take a few sessions with Mr. Potts!]
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