My Own Personal Mentos Commercial

The following takes place between the hours of 11:45am and 1:15pm on Monday, March 30, 2009.

Remember those Mentos commercials of old where someone would be in a pickle, pops in a Mentos (or is Mento the singular form?), and suddenly everything works out. Add the jingle and a big smile while you flash your pack of Mentos and BOOM, you have one of the more popular commercials from the 90's.

So two Monday's ago I had to get to court in Manhattan to make a filing deadline. [Yes, I was playing lawyer.] Early in the morning I was putting the finishing touches on the memos and motions on Wrong Island (Long Island to the rest of you) and spent two hours at Fedex-Kinkos copying, inserting tabs and exhibits, and finally binding the documents. Of course to complicate things, I had to be on Wall Street at 1pm for a networking group meeting (my first meeting with this group).

I got home from Fedkos (for short) knowing I would never make the train I planned for, that would allow me to not rush to the meeting. By the time I showered and suited up, I had to rush to make that next train. That train wasn't getting into Penn Station until about 12:35pm and then I would have to wait for a subway and find my way to this building I had never been to before. I figured worst case scenario I would get to the meeting 5 minutes in but thought the meeting would never start on time anyway.

I took a seat on the train with my iPod trying to catch my breath after a marathon morning. So far things were going okay and at least it wasn't raining! [No, I didn't jinx the weather by saying that.] The train pulled into the Jamaica station where I would have to pick up a connecting train. Sure enough I saw the electronic display indicating that that train was running five minutes late. I immediately call the person who invited me to attend the meeting to let him know there were delays and I would probably be late.

The train finally arrives but next thing I know I'm sitting on the connecting train for another ten minutes not moving. Just my luck. Back to the iPod until we pull into Penn Station. Fortunately I had a MetroCard in my wallet so at least I wouldn't have to stop and purchase a new one. WRONG! I had $1.05 and needed $2 for the ride. So now I had to wait in line at the machines to refill my card. As I go to swipe my card I heard a train pulling in. I ran up the stairs hoping that of the 2 trains that run both uptown and downtown (4 possible trains) the train that just pulled in was mine and praying that the doors were still open.

It was the express 3-train heading downtown! Exactly what I wanted and I made it just in time for the famous "Stand clear of the closing doors please." Not thinking about anything I popped a Mentos (Mento just sounds funny) in my mouth because I needed a little sugar. As I settled into my seat for until the Wall Street stop I realized that I just starred in my own Mentos commerical. All that was missing was the perfect smile and the flash of the Mentos with the label facing the camera.

In case you're wondering I was only about 5 minutes late. The subway stop was right next door to the building I needed to be at and they had just started. Everyone was in the conference room and of course there were no more chairs so a receptionist ran to get one leaving me standing in the corner while they proceeded. It all worked out in the end and I made sure to arrive early to yesterday's meeting. I also was able to make it to court after the meeting and filed the documents just before the filing deadline.

This got me thinking...They obviously still sell Mentos mints and candies but they stopped with the commericals. Why??? Search on YouTube for Mentos commericals and you'll see the old spots and many parodies.

This is my favorite parody which also happens to be a music video from the Foo Fighters (they used to make such creative videos)



[10 points if you tell me why I tagged Scrubs in this post. I know the opening sounds right out of 24.]

Holy %@#$, I'm an Attorney!

I may have mentioned that I lived through three years of law school--a fate I would only wish on my closest enemies. Looking back on those three painful years, I think the only thing I really got out of was a numbing of my brain and nerve cells [neurons of the science geeks, brain stuff for the law geeks] responsible for excitement. What would ordinarily be happy times or the usual time for celebration of law related milestones turned out to be just going through the motions.

[Congrats law school, I guess that means you've taken my soul and now I can proceed to actually practicing law]

So why am I telling you all this?

After my last final exam, I went home and took a nap. There was no celebrating, rather I simply went on with my regular life. [Editor's note: I always made a point to separate my law school life and my personal life] After my law school graduation, I went for dinner with my family and then to a graduation party. At the party, I didn't have any of those "dude, we graduated law school" moments.

Then came the bar exam in July. Those were some good times! After I finished, I called a friend of mine who was obviously a lot more excited than I was. She asked me why I wasn't all excited and I told her that I guess it hadn't hit me yet [and didn't for another 7 months]. I was glad it was over and that a weight was lifted off of me, but maybe I couldn't celebrate a process that wasn't complete until the results came out in November.

The results came out on a Friday in mid-November. After trying to log in for 4 hours, I finally got the news that I passed. [yay!] Again, my friends and family were excited and I was just glad it was over. That Saturday night I went out with some pre-law school friends and did our usual weekend whatnots. [Editor's note: once you start law school, your life is divided into 2 parts--before and after]

Fast forward to last night. I was invited to a costume party and being on a tight budget, I was trying to put something together for cheap. I know my brother has a set of real scrubs. [He's not a doctor but "borrowed" them from a hospital] We all know how much I love the show Scrubs so I decided to go as J.D., Zach Braff's character. I had a little free time yesterday so I started toying with an ID tag, as all the doctors at Sacred Heart (fictional hospital on the show) wear.

At the party people were asking if I came straight from work or if that was a costume. A few people actually saw my ID around my neck and figured out my character. [Apparently not enough people at this party were familiar with the show.] I had a great time at the party but that's not the point of this post.

After spending some time at this place and a few drinks, I slowly made my way out. As I was leaving, some guy asked if I was a doctor. Fair question and he seemed reasonably sober. I paused and said "No, actually I'm an attorney." I guess that's the closest to a "Holy %@#$", I'm an Attorney!" moment I'll get.













[I got some mad fake ID skillz!]

I Love You, Man

Okay, before you all get the wrong idea, there are many girls who can vouch for my heterosexuality. And no, I don't buy the "man-crush" or "bromance" concepts.

Before my Presidents' Weekend excursion to our neighbor to the north (see next post) I had a chance to catch an advanced screening of the upcoming flick, "I Love You, Man" starring Paul Rudd and Jason Segel. The film hits theaters on March 20th but here's a sneak peak:

Paul Rudd is the main character and the movie opens with him proposing to his girlfriend. While they plan the wedding, he and his fiance discover that while he has lots of female friends, he has very few guy friends, and no best man. Rudd's character then goes on a series of "man dates" to find a best man for the wedding.

Funnier Moment: Paul Rudd goes to Jason Segel's house following a man date. Segal introduces the dog as Anwar Sadat. When asked why he calls his dog Anwar Sadat, Segel replies "because he looks like Anwar Sadat" and the camera pans to a picture hanging on Segel's wall of the real Anwar Sadat.

I highly recommend this movie for a lots of laughs. [Okay, that sounds really lame] Guest starring Rush (the band) Jamie Pressly, Jon Favreau, and Lou Ferrigno (the original Incredible Hulk). Rated R for language and sexual innuendo (cue The Todd).

Check out the trailer:


SPOILER ALERT (which will have no impact on any storyline): You will not see as much Jason Segel as you saw in his last film, "Forgetting Sarah Marshall." END OF SPOILER

Things that Bother Me

I may have mentioned at some point that I have no patience or tolerance. It's true. With that I bring you some of things that have bothered me lately.

Here's a collection of just a few of the things that have gotten under my skin:

1. Nancy Pelosi
OK, I get that people from California are strange and different but Madame Speaker of the House is trying to turn this country into China, and not the good kind of China. Part of the new trillion dollar economic "stimulus" plan (yes, TRILLION) includes birth control funding. Her reasoning is that "it will reduce costs to the states and federal government." (Source: ABC's This Week with George "My Last Name is a Spelling Test" Stephanopoulos). Next she's going allow Americans to keep only one child. Keep the first male child and throw the girls into the Potomac.

This comes from a woman with 5 children and, as of this posting, 6 grandchildren.

2. Hugh Jackman
How does a guy go from Wolverine on X-men to this? I don't care if you've been voted hottest man alive by a bunch of middle-aged women, you can't be Wolverine and that guy opposite Siegfried in "Siegfried and Roy." Next we'll have Clay Aiken star as the next Batman.

3. Foreign Currencies with Ridiculous Conversion Rates
Go to Japan with a crisp $20 bill and what do you get? A little over 1818 Japanese yen. 2 million of these yen will fetch you a stripped Toyota Camry while $2 million will land you any exotic supercar. I've never been to Japan but hope the smallest paper bill is a 100 yen note. I know I get excited when I look into my wallet when I see anything with a $100. If I were in Japan right now I would be carrying around roughly 5158 yen.

This goes for any country with similar conversion rates!

4. Bush Bashing
Over the last few years, Bush bashing was the "in" thing. Whether it's celebs during award shows, athletes, or the media. You know why people don't take us seriously anymore? Maybe it's because this country doesn't show any respect to the office of the president. Like the man or not, respect him for the position he holds. I know I would never want that position.

On a related note, where's Obama's exit strategy? Sure, let's close Guantanamo Bay, but where are you going to put all the prisoners? You can always send em home so we can read later that they are high ranking terrorists in Yemen. Maybe he can send em to California and reopen those internment camps that have been vacant since WWII. The media would just love that.

5. Corporate Greed
When business is booming, we love big business but in recessions, they are evil. I personally have no problem with them so long as greed never exceeds profits. The big 3 automakers got lynched for flying to D.C. in their private jets for congressional hearings to ask for money. Banks are already getting their share $700 billion and now I read that Citigroup is ready to take delivery of a rare $50 million jet. There are only 9 in the entire U.S. Way to properly spend our $45 billion in tax dollars to turn your company around.

BUT WAIT, it actually gets worse. The plane was made in France!

6. Versus and Dish Network
Versus what? Remember that station OLN? You know it...the hunting and fishing channel. Now I don't watch hunting or fishing, and have never gone hunting, but my hatred for Versus runs deep. You see, a few years back, they outbid ESPN for rights to NHL coverage. As a Rangers fan I watch most games on MSG, but on occasion Versus has the rights to the game and it's blacked out on MSG. Worse, they have the rights to the NHL All-Star Game and skills competition. It took awhile before Versus was even available to those non-rabbit ear users.

For some reason Versus is part of a premium package on Dish Network after Comcast (owns Versus) first didn't provide Versus to them. So in all my roughly 200 channels, I don't get versus and on the NFL bye week (read: no football, for you non-sportsfans) I did not get to watch the NHL All-Star Game. Stay tuned for a possible award nomination (I'm not going to say which award) for one of the parties involved with #6 come playoffs.

7. Hugh Jackman

Blast from the Past?

POP QUIZ: What do Butch Walker, A. Jay Popoff, and Mitch Allan all have in common?

HINT: Butch Walker was the singer/songwriter for Marvelous 3, A. Jay Popoff was in the band Lit, and Mitch Allan was the singer and guitarist for SR-71.

THE ANSWER: Yes, some may consider them part of many one-hit wonders from the late 90s and early 00s (is there a word for the double-zero decade?). Maybe you remeber the songs "Freak of the Week," "My Own Worst Enemy," and "Right Now." Well, this is kinda true but they had a few other songs with marginal success.

Here's another confession: I like music. I have no musical talent whatsoever, but I enjoy listening to music with whatever I'm doing. I generally like anything with guitars and drums (sans country) but am guilty of listening to some of those uber-pop songs and for the life of me can't get some of them out of my head. (Stop playing all things Rhianna!!!) I like alternative rock but had the punk, ska, grunge and heavier phases and will still treat myself to the occasional Edna's Goldfish. These days I usually stream Alternative Addiction Radio.

I wouldn't call myself a music snob and have never openly said that my music is better than your music (although it just may be). I will call you out if you hear a song on the radio and proclaim it to be the next big thing especially when the song is 10 years old and the band has long broken up. I check out some of the "fad bands" but they are just that--fads. Sorry Mute Math but you have about one album left at best.

But I digress...Those guys represented the music I listened to back in the day. I was never an uber-fan of any of them and have never seen them live. HOWEVER, it is with great pleasure that I report that they are all back. Eventually I will get a copy of Butch Walker's solo release (which from what I've heard so far is pretty good) and I definitely recommend checking out Mitch Allan's solo single "Superman" because it's so different from the rest of SR-71 stuff.

Butch and Mitch (we're on a first name basis now) have also done songwriting and production for some big names that I'm sure you've heard of. Butch Walker has written and/or produced for the likes of Avril Lavigne, Pink, Pete Yorn and Lindsay Lohan (you didn't actually think she can write anything beyond her name on checks, did you?). Mitch Allan has written for Faith Hill, The Jonas Brothers (mentioning them in my blog will cost me a man card), and most famously wrote "1985" for Bowling for Soup.

Digitus Medius Award Nominee #1

On behalf of myself, I would like to announce a new award to go along with the Academy Awards, Grammys, Webbys, and Darwins. This award is called the Digitus Medius and nominees will be announced as they enter the fold.

For those of you who never took Latin, this one needs no transation. [Confession: I never took Latin either] If you're still lost, google it. The Digitus Medius Award is exactly what it sounds like. It's a trophy a with giant Digitus Medius at the top.

How does one earn a Digitus Medius?
Simple. You just need to do something really stupid or something that merits the the hate of many (or just me).

The first nominee is NBC. I mentioned last post how I am such a huge fan of the show Scrubs. It's their last season and they are trying to bring back as many former castmembers as they can, similar to what ER is doing. Of course NBC had to ruin their plans.

After doing reasonably well for NBC for six seasons, NBC decided to return the favor by refusing to allow former castmembers who now appear on other NBC shows to appear on Scrubs (now on ABC). This means we don't get to see the return of Masi Oka as Frnaklin the lab tech or Sarah Lancaster as J.D.'s ex-girlfriend the Gift Shop Girl (Lisa), who are now on Heroes and Chuck respectively. I personally didn't even realize that Sarah played Gift Shop Girl.

Congratulations to the people at NBC for become the first nominee! Expect an invitation to the red carpet event and award show early next year.

SCRUBS!!!

Can you tell that I'm excited that Scrubs is making it's return tonight??? Ok, WAY too much redundant punctuation.

I'm a huge fan of the show Scrubs. Been watching it since it premiered 7 years ago. What started out as a 30 minute time-filler became a weekly gathering in either my dorm or my neighbor's place. Here I am several years removed from dormlife and I haven't missed an episode. The internet has helped a lot because I do not stop life so I can watch a television show. After 6 years of decent ratings on NBC, the show will conclude with this final season on ABC.

Scrubs is a 30 minute comedy showing the lighter side of medicine. It stars Zach Braff, Sarah Chalke, John C. McGinley, etc. John C. McGinley is THAT guy. Like a William H. Macy--pops up everywhere but no one remembers his name.

For those Scrubs virgins, you can probably get them on iTunes but they are also floating around the internet (questionably legal). I recommend the first episode and then my personal favorite (season 3, episode 14). You can catch up with the rest later.

Once you start, you'll long for Dr. Cox's rants, J.D's man-crush on Turk, the Janitor tormenting JD, and The Todd. FUN FACT: the Janitor originally was only seen by J.D. but grew into a real staff member at Sacred Heart Hospital.

There is quite the cult following including fansites and drinking games. Tons of clips are available on YouTube and I suggest searching "Scrubs outtakes" and "Dr. Cox rants."

Catch it out tonight at 9pm on ABC!

[Wow, I'm a dork]