Things that Bother Me

I may have mentioned at some point that I have no patience or tolerance. It's true. With that I bring you some of things that have bothered me lately.

Here's a collection of just a few of the things that have gotten under my skin:

1. Nancy Pelosi
OK, I get that people from California are strange and different but Madame Speaker of the House is trying to turn this country into China, and not the good kind of China. Part of the new trillion dollar economic "stimulus" plan (yes, TRILLION) includes birth control funding. Her reasoning is that "it will reduce costs to the states and federal government." (Source: ABC's This Week with George "My Last Name is a Spelling Test" Stephanopoulos). Next she's going allow Americans to keep only one child. Keep the first male child and throw the girls into the Potomac.

This comes from a woman with 5 children and, as of this posting, 6 grandchildren.

2. Hugh Jackman
How does a guy go from Wolverine on X-men to this? I don't care if you've been voted hottest man alive by a bunch of middle-aged women, you can't be Wolverine and that guy opposite Siegfried in "Siegfried and Roy." Next we'll have Clay Aiken star as the next Batman.

3. Foreign Currencies with Ridiculous Conversion Rates
Go to Japan with a crisp $20 bill and what do you get? A little over 1818 Japanese yen. 2 million of these yen will fetch you a stripped Toyota Camry while $2 million will land you any exotic supercar. I've never been to Japan but hope the smallest paper bill is a 100 yen note. I know I get excited when I look into my wallet when I see anything with a $100. If I were in Japan right now I would be carrying around roughly 5158 yen.

This goes for any country with similar conversion rates!

4. Bush Bashing
Over the last few years, Bush bashing was the "in" thing. Whether it's celebs during award shows, athletes, or the media. You know why people don't take us seriously anymore? Maybe it's because this country doesn't show any respect to the office of the president. Like the man or not, respect him for the position he holds. I know I would never want that position.

On a related note, where's Obama's exit strategy? Sure, let's close Guantanamo Bay, but where are you going to put all the prisoners? You can always send em home so we can read later that they are high ranking terrorists in Yemen. Maybe he can send em to California and reopen those internment camps that have been vacant since WWII. The media would just love that.

5. Corporate Greed
When business is booming, we love big business but in recessions, they are evil. I personally have no problem with them so long as greed never exceeds profits. The big 3 automakers got lynched for flying to D.C. in their private jets for congressional hearings to ask for money. Banks are already getting their share $700 billion and now I read that Citigroup is ready to take delivery of a rare $50 million jet. There are only 9 in the entire U.S. Way to properly spend our $45 billion in tax dollars to turn your company around.

BUT WAIT, it actually gets worse. The plane was made in France!

6. Versus and Dish Network
Versus what? Remember that station OLN? You know it...the hunting and fishing channel. Now I don't watch hunting or fishing, and have never gone hunting, but my hatred for Versus runs deep. You see, a few years back, they outbid ESPN for rights to NHL coverage. As a Rangers fan I watch most games on MSG, but on occasion Versus has the rights to the game and it's blacked out on MSG. Worse, they have the rights to the NHL All-Star Game and skills competition. It took awhile before Versus was even available to those non-rabbit ear users.

For some reason Versus is part of a premium package on Dish Network after Comcast (owns Versus) first didn't provide Versus to them. So in all my roughly 200 channels, I don't get versus and on the NFL bye week (read: no football, for you non-sportsfans) I did not get to watch the NHL All-Star Game. Stay tuned for a possible award nomination (I'm not going to say which award) for one of the parties involved with #6 come playoffs.

7. Hugh Jackman

So I Was Thinking...

Yes, that might be a dangerous thing but hear me out. There are lots of people in this world who should not be allowed to think (Ted Kaczynski for example) and others who probably should think a little more often (anyone who goes on the Maury show with 8 kids and looking for her babies' daddies). As for me, thinking has gotten me in trouble, but most of the time it has served me well.

Then again if you didn't want me to think, why would you be reading my blog?

On the eve of New York Governor David Paterson announcing who will be replacing Hillary Clinton as Senator (thankfully it will not be a Kennedy), I began to think about how we got into this mess.

Our favorite Senator/carpetbagger loved New York so much, and after praising this great state decided she would rather be in the cabinet (female chauvinists do your thing) of President Obama. That leaves the appointment up to Governor David Paterson who from up close can't even tell the difference between Hillary Clinton and Caroline Kennedy.

So what's Governor Paterson's deal? David Paterson was previously the Lieutenant Governor of New York until recently, when he took office after ex-Gov. Eliot Spitzer got caught up in a scandal...Something to do with a Jersey girl (first mistake), $5,000/hour (second mistake) and his inability to hide it (third mistake).

But was it really about his involvement in with an (expensive) escort service?

NOPE. He would have gotten away with it and probably have been praised but for two mistakes. First, he couldn't hide it well. Second, we needed a fall guy given the state of the economy. Everyone needs money and New York State is no exception. Had Gov. Spitzer been with a call girl from New York, who reported all her income on her state tax return (miscellaneous income anyone?), New York would get the revenue and Spitzer would not have gone down faster than blue ice from an airplane.

The moral of the story, those seven deadly sins can actually kill--a political career.

In honor of Spitzer, Paterson, Clinton and Kennedy, I bring you today's song of the day:
The Unprotected by Cavalier King

Living the I-Society

...no, it's not a new product from Apple.

There are few things I enjoy more than getting dressed up and pretending to be part of high society. I am not rich, in fact I have a law degree and only a part-time job, while carrying a boatload of debt. That still doesn't mean that I can't pretend I'm wealthy every so often. We're talking about attending fundraisers for causes I believe in, networking events with those more successful than I, and the occasional movie premiere (and party). The return on this investment makes it all worth it as I get good use of my tux and suits while also enjoying the networking, catered meals, and open bars. To be honest, the "high society" that I meet at these events are no different than I am--other than a bloated salary. We both need a private elevator car to fit our egos.

This rant is geared towards the I-Society, or the society of "me." We're living in a time where selfishness is prevelant. We fail to se how our actions can impact others. No, I'm not going to segue into global warming (ehem, SHAM!) or socialism. We all know that socialism does not work. Even kibbutz life is on the decline and that is the longest surviving instance of working socialism. I will break my rule about not delving into politics (because I can) and say that any plan to redistrbute wealth on a national level is just a terrible idea (but it does work in professional sports).

ANYWAY, I'm thinking that the problem lies with Apple. Ladies and gentleman, I stand here today to tell you that Steve Jobs is the root of the downturn of society. I don't (really) mean that literally. Apple has made its resurgence with products that preach to the I-Society. Take the iMac, designed with the user in mind, which in many ways outperforms the PC (and looks nicer). Ever hear of the iPod or iPhone? Same thing! Now people ride the subways with their little white earbuds and tune out the world. Marketing an entire portfolio of products that start with "I" is subliminally turning us away from human interaction leading to an inability to function as a society.

Coming soon to a MacWorld convention:
1. The iTown: small parcels of land in their own bubbles; similar to a garage door, a latch at the top of the bubble allows the flying iCars to get residents to and from home.
2. The iStoop: individual stoops for bums to gather with their booze in brown bags; never again will bums congregate on a single stoop
3. The iCan: a briefcase that when opened becomes a personal toilet; never again will peopel have to share a bathroom. Kinda looks like the original iBook BEWARE: if you run out of toilet paper, don't expect anyone to share a square.

CONFESSION: Forgive me William Gates for I have sinned. I gave in to the temptation of greed and own an iPod shuffle (only cost me $100,000) and the sin of lust. In my defense, the iPhone looks so cool!