F-U Friday

Every Friday for the past few weeks I've added something light to this blog to celebrate the end of the week. Today I tried really hard to come up something but from the moment I turned my TV on this morning, I've been LIVID!

So instead of ending the week on a happy note, I will pull a page from the Opie and Anthony playbook and contribute to their F-U Fridays.

Earlier in the week I made a post about things that bother me. I think I made it pretty clear that I am annoyed with Dish Network and Versus for not allowing my to watch/record the NHL All-Star Game and skills competition. Well now my F-U goes out to the good people at Dish Network.

Towards the end of the month, Dish Network releases new channels to preview for a month. In the past I've enjoyed stations such as the Do It Yourself Network, National Geographic, and Fine Living (all in varying degrees). Today I checked the previews for the new month and sure enough I can enjoy the quality programming on Versus for the month of February.

DOES ANYONE CARE ABOUT THE PROGRAMS ON VERSUS IN FEBRUARY??? I missed all-star weekend and the playoffs don't start for a few months. In case anyone is wondering, fishing was on when I checked it out.

Way to blow that one Dish Network.

Happy Friday!

PS: My name is DeathoftheCourtesyWave and I have no interest in seeing Slumdog Millionaire.

Pimp My Ride - Executive Edition

Someone had this great idea a few years back of giving some rapper a piece of junk on four wheels for him to turn into a piece of junk of four wheels with a hideous paint-job and toys that no one would ever use. Only on MTV!

The show had a modest following and they've "pimped" all sorts of cars.

Today we are "pimping" the presidential limousine. Why? Because we can! Also because the most powerful man in the world should have the most awesome vehicle. We all know how ginormous his car is, given the 2-inch think armored windows, 6-inch thick armored doors, and the ability to withstand attacks from the best that over 170 countries can throw at it. I should also add that this "car" is almost as tall as our president and taller than some secret servicemen, rides on truck tires, and can probably off-road as well as most SUVs. Let's just say this Cadillac looks like a car but most suspect it's based on a GM truck platform. There's a reason that insiders have called this limo "The Beast." The exact specs for President Obama's car are classified (shocker!).

There are just a few guidelines to "pimping" such a vehicle. First, we cannot disrespect the car or rider by giving it a crazy paint job. If we are going to add an insane sound system, it can only play "Hail to the Chief." I thought about putting a giant flag on the hood but this isn't Washington Heights (and Obama isn't Dominican). Finally, no spoilers that look like park benches.

So here's the plan:
1. Lot's of chrome.
If applied properly, chrome denotes wealth. If applied incorrectly, it looks straight out of Compton. The Cadillac grille could use a little more shine and maybe some trim. OK, while I'm out it, why not model the chrome add-ons after this beauty spotted in Dubai.

2. Spinners.
How do you stop any potential assassination attempts? Distract them with the hypnotic powers of spinners. You think Lee Harvey Oswald (or that secret shooter) would have hit JFK if his car had spinners?

3. Killer sound system.
After much consideration, I think it would be the coolest thing if the presidential motorcade drove by blasting "Hail to the Chief." Turn up the base and put a giant subwoofer in the trunk. Now we're in business. Save the police sirens for an emergency.

4. Toys.
All good "pimpings" need to have toys. Considering the limo already has multiple phones (and lines), satellite TV, world radio, a well stocked bar, and the ability to control our nuclear arsenal (hopefully not while he's raiding the bar), what else does he need? Roll-out spike strips, oil slicks, smoke screens, and machine guns/rocket launchers straight out of James Bond's Aston Martin. Maybe Q and Lucius Fox (Morgan Freeman in the new Batman movies) can get together and discuss other ideas.

NAME THAT MOVIE: "Hail to the chief cuz I'm the chief and I need hailing"

PS: How white am I that I use quotes around "pimped" and "pimping?"

Things that Bother Me

I may have mentioned at some point that I have no patience or tolerance. It's true. With that I bring you some of things that have bothered me lately.

Here's a collection of just a few of the things that have gotten under my skin:

1. Nancy Pelosi
OK, I get that people from California are strange and different but Madame Speaker of the House is trying to turn this country into China, and not the good kind of China. Part of the new trillion dollar economic "stimulus" plan (yes, TRILLION) includes birth control funding. Her reasoning is that "it will reduce costs to the states and federal government." (Source: ABC's This Week with George "My Last Name is a Spelling Test" Stephanopoulos). Next she's going allow Americans to keep only one child. Keep the first male child and throw the girls into the Potomac.

This comes from a woman with 5 children and, as of this posting, 6 grandchildren.

2. Hugh Jackman
How does a guy go from Wolverine on X-men to this? I don't care if you've been voted hottest man alive by a bunch of middle-aged women, you can't be Wolverine and that guy opposite Siegfried in "Siegfried and Roy." Next we'll have Clay Aiken star as the next Batman.

3. Foreign Currencies with Ridiculous Conversion Rates
Go to Japan with a crisp $20 bill and what do you get? A little over 1818 Japanese yen. 2 million of these yen will fetch you a stripped Toyota Camry while $2 million will land you any exotic supercar. I've never been to Japan but hope the smallest paper bill is a 100 yen note. I know I get excited when I look into my wallet when I see anything with a $100. If I were in Japan right now I would be carrying around roughly 5158 yen.

This goes for any country with similar conversion rates!

4. Bush Bashing
Over the last few years, Bush bashing was the "in" thing. Whether it's celebs during award shows, athletes, or the media. You know why people don't take us seriously anymore? Maybe it's because this country doesn't show any respect to the office of the president. Like the man or not, respect him for the position he holds. I know I would never want that position.

On a related note, where's Obama's exit strategy? Sure, let's close Guantanamo Bay, but where are you going to put all the prisoners? You can always send em home so we can read later that they are high ranking terrorists in Yemen. Maybe he can send em to California and reopen those internment camps that have been vacant since WWII. The media would just love that.

5. Corporate Greed
When business is booming, we love big business but in recessions, they are evil. I personally have no problem with them so long as greed never exceeds profits. The big 3 automakers got lynched for flying to D.C. in their private jets for congressional hearings to ask for money. Banks are already getting their share $700 billion and now I read that Citigroup is ready to take delivery of a rare $50 million jet. There are only 9 in the entire U.S. Way to properly spend our $45 billion in tax dollars to turn your company around.

BUT WAIT, it actually gets worse. The plane was made in France!

6. Versus and Dish Network
Versus what? Remember that station OLN? You know it...the hunting and fishing channel. Now I don't watch hunting or fishing, and have never gone hunting, but my hatred for Versus runs deep. You see, a few years back, they outbid ESPN for rights to NHL coverage. As a Rangers fan I watch most games on MSG, but on occasion Versus has the rights to the game and it's blacked out on MSG. Worse, they have the rights to the NHL All-Star Game and skills competition. It took awhile before Versus was even available to those non-rabbit ear users.

For some reason Versus is part of a premium package on Dish Network after Comcast (owns Versus) first didn't provide Versus to them. So in all my roughly 200 channels, I don't get versus and on the NFL bye week (read: no football, for you non-sportsfans) I did not get to watch the NHL All-Star Game. Stay tuned for a possible award nomination (I'm not going to say which award) for one of the parties involved with #6 come playoffs.

7. Hugh Jackman

New Fortune Cookie

The people (ok, really it's just one person) at Death of the Courtesy Wave would like to wish all of our Chinese readers a very happy Year of the Ox.

There was a time when I actually knew what each year meant, but alas, three years of law school corrupted my brain, filling it with lots of useless information. At this point all I know is that the plural of ox is oxen, just as the plural of box is boxen.

(If you don't believe that last part, ask Brian Regan.)

In honor of the new year, I thought I would treat myself to some Chinese...and not in the Maury Povich kinda way. As always, the fortune cookie was the second best part, this time coming after my beef with garlic sauce.

Tonight's fortune:
"Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter"

Hmmm... what to make of this?

Well if I add the traditional "in bed" at the end, it would actually make the fortune worse. Maybe it's professional rather than personal? I guess the cookie is telling me to get a move on that intern. I've needed one for some time but I can't offer salary or even college credit until my business is more established so I'm stuck and don't want to do certain research.

Looks like another Confucious-ism with no answers.

Happy Friday!

The weekend is here!

The people at Death of the Courtesy Wave would like to remind everyone to have fun, be safe, and please drink responsibly. This public service announcement is sponsored by HE'BREW beer.

A friend of mine kept the coaster and gave it to me and I just recently found it.

In the spirit of the weekend, I present you with a throwback to 1999 for the song of the weekend:
Veronical Sawyer by Edna's Goldfish

Disclaimer: This song and video are from 1999 and ska was actually popular in my neck of the woods.

So I Was Thinking...

Yes, that might be a dangerous thing but hear me out. There are lots of people in this world who should not be allowed to think (Ted Kaczynski for example) and others who probably should think a little more often (anyone who goes on the Maury show with 8 kids and looking for her babies' daddies). As for me, thinking has gotten me in trouble, but most of the time it has served me well.

Then again if you didn't want me to think, why would you be reading my blog?

On the eve of New York Governor David Paterson announcing who will be replacing Hillary Clinton as Senator (thankfully it will not be a Kennedy), I began to think about how we got into this mess.

Our favorite Senator/carpetbagger loved New York so much, and after praising this great state decided she would rather be in the cabinet (female chauvinists do your thing) of President Obama. That leaves the appointment up to Governor David Paterson who from up close can't even tell the difference between Hillary Clinton and Caroline Kennedy.

So what's Governor Paterson's deal? David Paterson was previously the Lieutenant Governor of New York until recently, when he took office after ex-Gov. Eliot Spitzer got caught up in a scandal...Something to do with a Jersey girl (first mistake), $5,000/hour (second mistake) and his inability to hide it (third mistake).

But was it really about his involvement in with an (expensive) escort service?

NOPE. He would have gotten away with it and probably have been praised but for two mistakes. First, he couldn't hide it well. Second, we needed a fall guy given the state of the economy. Everyone needs money and New York State is no exception. Had Gov. Spitzer been with a call girl from New York, who reported all her income on her state tax return (miscellaneous income anyone?), New York would get the revenue and Spitzer would not have gone down faster than blue ice from an airplane.

The moral of the story, those seven deadly sins can actually kill--a political career.

In honor of Spitzer, Paterson, Clinton and Kennedy, I bring you today's song of the day:
The Unprotected by Cavalier King

Blast from the Past?

POP QUIZ: What do Butch Walker, A. Jay Popoff, and Mitch Allan all have in common?

HINT: Butch Walker was the singer/songwriter for Marvelous 3, A. Jay Popoff was in the band Lit, and Mitch Allan was the singer and guitarist for SR-71.

THE ANSWER: Yes, some may consider them part of many one-hit wonders from the late 90s and early 00s (is there a word for the double-zero decade?). Maybe you remeber the songs "Freak of the Week," "My Own Worst Enemy," and "Right Now." Well, this is kinda true but they had a few other songs with marginal success.

Here's another confession: I like music. I have no musical talent whatsoever, but I enjoy listening to music with whatever I'm doing. I generally like anything with guitars and drums (sans country) but am guilty of listening to some of those uber-pop songs and for the life of me can't get some of them out of my head. (Stop playing all things Rhianna!!!) I like alternative rock but had the punk, ska, grunge and heavier phases and will still treat myself to the occasional Edna's Goldfish. These days I usually stream Alternative Addiction Radio.

I wouldn't call myself a music snob and have never openly said that my music is better than your music (although it just may be). I will call you out if you hear a song on the radio and proclaim it to be the next big thing especially when the song is 10 years old and the band has long broken up. I check out some of the "fad bands" but they are just that--fads. Sorry Mute Math but you have about one album left at best.

But I digress...Those guys represented the music I listened to back in the day. I was never an uber-fan of any of them and have never seen them live. HOWEVER, it is with great pleasure that I report that they are all back. Eventually I will get a copy of Butch Walker's solo release (which from what I've heard so far is pretty good) and I definitely recommend checking out Mitch Allan's solo single "Superman" because it's so different from the rest of SR-71 stuff.

Butch and Mitch (we're on a first name basis now) have also done songwriting and production for some big names that I'm sure you've heard of. Butch Walker has written and/or produced for the likes of Avril Lavigne, Pink, Pete Yorn and Lindsay Lohan (you didn't actually think she can write anything beyond her name on checks, did you?). Mitch Allan has written for Faith Hill, The Jonas Brothers (mentioning them in my blog will cost me a man card), and most famously wrote "1985" for Bowling for Soup.

Sports, A Microcosm of Life

I have another confession to make. I've been a big sports fan all my life.

Sports has a very important role in society. As a child, you learn about rules (each sport has quite a few), teamwork, winning and losing. As an adult, if you happen to not be one of about 600 Major League Baseball players, too short for the NBA, can't skate, or don't enjoy large men forming piles on top of you, you can still follow your team and critique the sports world. That's where I come into play.

Take the Dallas Cowboys...Many predicted that they would still be playing football today (week 3 of the NFL playoffs) yet they didn't even make it into the postseason. Why? About 99.9% of coaches use the cliche "there's no 'I' in 'team.'" I say that there is a "me" in "team" and that will be your ruination. Selfish play and in-fighting brought down this highly talented team. Hey T.O., in no world is one greater than 52. Hope you're working on your golf game living in the I-Society.

It got me thinking about one of the more underrated and underappreciated films of my era. The movie is...[wait for it]...BASEketball. For those unfamiliar with BASEketball, it's a comedy from 1998 starring the creators of South Park. If you've never heard of South Park and are over 8 years old, please return your membership card to society, proceed to the roof of your nearest tall structure, and just jump. ANYWAY, the movie predicts teams moving to new cities for money, stadiums named after brands, and endzone celebrations that are longer than the scoring play itself. Plus the usual crudeness you come to expect from Matt Stone and Trey Parker. It's a heartwarming tale of the ruination sports and how Stone and Parker save the day (and this is why I don't review movies).

I just thought I'd throw that out there in the spirit of the final two teams standing in the NFL. This is the sad state of sports. One person--athlete or agent (ahem, Scott Boras)--who gets greedy sets of a chain reaction of greed. Next thing you know, certain seats at the new Yankee Stadium go for $2,500 a pop and many families are now priced out of major sporting events. Minor league baseball is a lot of fun, but rather than seeing your hero, you see a bunch of scrubs and maybe one or two guys who you might see in the bigs eventually.

For the Citibank executives who read this (and I know you do), your company wouldn't be flatlining right now if you didn't pledge $400 million to the New York Mets for stadium naming rights! But of course the Mets need the money to cover their new stadium and to pay their overpaid stars. I understand the role of economics, but no baseball player should make more money per at-bat than most of the fans make over 365 days!

Happy Friday!

As the weekend slowly rolls on (ok, mine already started) I figured I'll keep things light and quick (TWSS)

You may have had a bad week but not as bad as this guy!


I will glad take the remains of that $120,000 beauty!

Confessions of an Unemployed JD

That was actually my second choice for this blog's title. I'm generally a very private person and did not want to turn this blog into a personal diary (Dear Diary, I need to tell the world everything I did today and then complain about girl problems. YEAH, that is SO not for me). I prefer keeping this forum for this, that, and the other thing--lots of that other thing. Plus, "Death of the Courtesy Wave" has a much better ring to it.

Of course, since I make the rules, I can also break them...

First, let me clear up one small point. I am not exactly unemployed. In fact I have a great part time job where I set my own hours and love what I do.

What can possibly be wrong then? Well this job requires professionalism, some basic knowledge of accounting, and good people skills. Most of my work can be performed by someone with a two-year degree from a community college. I chose to go to a top tier private college and then to law school. Total tuition was roughly $180,000 for those seven years. I got scholarships but I still had to pay the difference. Let's just say I know owe somewhere in the area of less than $180,000 in loans.

I know I made the choice to go to a private college and then law school so I am not exactly bitter about the debt. I am a little bitter about how I still see no return on that investment. Yes, I definitely learned a lot in those seven years, but it's debatable as to how much I gained from actually sitting in the classroom.

I've been looking for a job since the start of my final semester of law school. I took a break from the intense job hunt so I can focus on studying for the bar. After taking some time to recover, I resumed my search which leads me to where I am today, sitting in a massage chair writing this post. I was told jobs would surface after the bar--LIES! I was then told more jobs would appear after the results of the bar exam came out (which I passed)--more LIES! I was then told that jobs would surface after New Years when firms have money budgeted for 2009--still more LIES!

You don't need an economics degree to see the direction our economy is going (but I have one anyway). Still it would be nice to read about hirings rather than firings and layoffs.

I've seen sporadic job postings and have sent some resumes out to firms who practice areas of law that interest me. I have not applied for just any law job because I don't want to be trapped in an area of law that I don't like. The last thing I want is to see that perfect position in real estate but my resume shows recent experience in insurance defense.

Maybe going to law school really isn't worth it these days. Heading in, I was never sure how much I wanted to practice law. I still applied and enrolled because I wanted that advanced degree to open doors for other career paths. In this economy however, I am looking at alternative career paths and tradition law jobs, partly for the experience but partly for money to start my own businesses.

At this point I'll take anything that requires at least a college degree and a major in something other than music, English, or underwater basket weaving.

And Now, Some Good News!

After 2 nominess for the Digitus Medius Awards in the last week alone (here and here), I don't want you to think that I am a full time hater. Ok, so I am a full time hater but that just wasn't the direction I wanted to take this blog.

I woke up this morning asking myself if there was some good news or some surprisingly positive story I can report on today. It only took 2 hours to find material for today's post.

As you know, I'm trying to start 3 businesses. They're coming along very slowly. The actual business plans are in the works and so far I bought a laser printer and two pieces of software. Total cost: free after rebates (I'm real good).

One piece of software I ordered online two weeks ago and downloaded from the manufacturer's website. Today I finally got to installing it. Sounds easy, but of course my computer decided to reject the software like a kidney. Now I'm generally very good with computers but this problem just didn't want to go away and the software could not be installed. I wound up calling customer service-GASP!!!

I've had my trouble with customer service in the past. The last thing I wanted was to speak to some guy named George Smith who sports a thick Indian accent. Just my luck, I get a guy with a common American name and a thick South-Asian accent. It turned out that this guy was uber-helpful. He talked me through re-downloading the software (which took 20 minutes on my DSL connection) and stayed with me the whole time, guiding me step by step through the installation.

I still received the same error messages as I did when I installed the software myself but we determined that it was my computer and not the software. This guy even went out of his way to try to talk me through the computer problem--which is not part of his job, but just because he happens to know about computers and not just how to read a customer service manual. He diagnosed the problem but was unable to solve it without gaining access to my PC (yeah, not a chance). Either way, I now know what to do when I fix the computer problem.

So today we salute you, Mr. South-Asian with American name tech support guy.

Digitus Medius Award Nominee #2

It seems like just yesterday I introduced the Digitus Medius Award and announced the first nominee. Well considering the world we live in (the I-Society) this second nominee comes as no surprise...

FOR SALE: Kidney - gently used, asking $1,500,000 or best offer

The New York Post reports that Dr. Richard Batista is asking his ex-wife for his kidney back. In 2001, Dr. Batista's wife needed a kidney and the husband was a match. They divorced in 2005 and he claims that after the way he was treated, he now wants his kidney back. The doctor alleges that she cheated on him and then dragged him through an ugly divorce. Divorce lawyer to the stars (on Long Island, at least) Dominic Barbara insists that he doesn't actually want the kidney back, rather he just wants the value of that kidney, which apparently is a cool $1.5 million. CAN I GET A PRICE CHECK IN AISLE 7? Why he didn't just factor that into the divorce settlement boggles the mind! Someone has been reading a little too deeply into the concept of "an eye for an eye."

Now I called the writer at the New York Post and I got the scoop. What the media is withholding from the rest of you commoners is that this family squabble is just another way to make money. Think of the merchandising possibilities. This "couple" has already made a number of filings with the US Patent and Trademark Office.

The real story goes something like this: The couple is actually a lot closer than just husband and wife. In fact my sources say that they are not even married. They are however brother and sister. Let's be honest here--the odds of being a perfect match to donate a kidney is 1 in 700,000. That means that in the United States there are only 428 possible matches. Somehow the ex-wife found a husband and match for kidney donor within that pool of 428--YEAH RIGHT!

As a J.D. not yet admitted, I feel the need to point out that the sale of organs is illegal in the US. Furthermore, the kidney was donated when they were on good terms and was a GIFT. Gifts by nature are irrevocable. Sorry Doc but KABOOM--you've been lawyered!

If this woman was as awful as you made her to be, and cheated on you as you allege, why didn't you come out better in the divorce? If the wife didn't obey a custody order take her to court again. Here's an idea: while she's sleeping, break into her house and cut out the kidney yourself (you are a doctor); spare us and leave the courts out of this too. To ask for the kidney back and seek all this attention is pathetic. Or do what the rest of us do, have her give a mutual friend all your personal items and you do the same. That friend will return all the items to their original owners.

Dr. Richard Batista, you are the second nominee for a Digitus Medius Award! Expect an invitation to the newest award show early next year.

Living the I-Society

...no, it's not a new product from Apple.

There are few things I enjoy more than getting dressed up and pretending to be part of high society. I am not rich, in fact I have a law degree and only a part-time job, while carrying a boatload of debt. That still doesn't mean that I can't pretend I'm wealthy every so often. We're talking about attending fundraisers for causes I believe in, networking events with those more successful than I, and the occasional movie premiere (and party). The return on this investment makes it all worth it as I get good use of my tux and suits while also enjoying the networking, catered meals, and open bars. To be honest, the "high society" that I meet at these events are no different than I am--other than a bloated salary. We both need a private elevator car to fit our egos.

This rant is geared towards the I-Society, or the society of "me." We're living in a time where selfishness is prevelant. We fail to se how our actions can impact others. No, I'm not going to segue into global warming (ehem, SHAM!) or socialism. We all know that socialism does not work. Even kibbutz life is on the decline and that is the longest surviving instance of working socialism. I will break my rule about not delving into politics (because I can) and say that any plan to redistrbute wealth on a national level is just a terrible idea (but it does work in professional sports).

ANYWAY, I'm thinking that the problem lies with Apple. Ladies and gentleman, I stand here today to tell you that Steve Jobs is the root of the downturn of society. I don't (really) mean that literally. Apple has made its resurgence with products that preach to the I-Society. Take the iMac, designed with the user in mind, which in many ways outperforms the PC (and looks nicer). Ever hear of the iPod or iPhone? Same thing! Now people ride the subways with their little white earbuds and tune out the world. Marketing an entire portfolio of products that start with "I" is subliminally turning us away from human interaction leading to an inability to function as a society.

Coming soon to a MacWorld convention:
1. The iTown: small parcels of land in their own bubbles; similar to a garage door, a latch at the top of the bubble allows the flying iCars to get residents to and from home.
2. The iStoop: individual stoops for bums to gather with their booze in brown bags; never again will bums congregate on a single stoop
3. The iCan: a briefcase that when opened becomes a personal toilet; never again will peopel have to share a bathroom. Kinda looks like the original iBook BEWARE: if you run out of toilet paper, don't expect anyone to share a square.

CONFESSION: Forgive me William Gates for I have sinned. I gave in to the temptation of greed and own an iPod shuffle (only cost me $100,000) and the sin of lust. In my defense, the iPhone looks so cool!

Digitus Medius Award Nominee #1

On behalf of myself, I would like to announce a new award to go along with the Academy Awards, Grammys, Webbys, and Darwins. This award is called the Digitus Medius and nominees will be announced as they enter the fold.

For those of you who never took Latin, this one needs no transation. [Confession: I never took Latin either] If you're still lost, google it. The Digitus Medius Award is exactly what it sounds like. It's a trophy a with giant Digitus Medius at the top.

How does one earn a Digitus Medius?
Simple. You just need to do something really stupid or something that merits the the hate of many (or just me).

The first nominee is NBC. I mentioned last post how I am such a huge fan of the show Scrubs. It's their last season and they are trying to bring back as many former castmembers as they can, similar to what ER is doing. Of course NBC had to ruin their plans.

After doing reasonably well for NBC for six seasons, NBC decided to return the favor by refusing to allow former castmembers who now appear on other NBC shows to appear on Scrubs (now on ABC). This means we don't get to see the return of Masi Oka as Frnaklin the lab tech or Sarah Lancaster as J.D.'s ex-girlfriend the Gift Shop Girl (Lisa), who are now on Heroes and Chuck respectively. I personally didn't even realize that Sarah played Gift Shop Girl.

Congratulations to the people at NBC for become the first nominee! Expect an invitation to the red carpet event and award show early next year.

SCRUBS!!!

Can you tell that I'm excited that Scrubs is making it's return tonight??? Ok, WAY too much redundant punctuation.

I'm a huge fan of the show Scrubs. Been watching it since it premiered 7 years ago. What started out as a 30 minute time-filler became a weekly gathering in either my dorm or my neighbor's place. Here I am several years removed from dormlife and I haven't missed an episode. The internet has helped a lot because I do not stop life so I can watch a television show. After 6 years of decent ratings on NBC, the show will conclude with this final season on ABC.

Scrubs is a 30 minute comedy showing the lighter side of medicine. It stars Zach Braff, Sarah Chalke, John C. McGinley, etc. John C. McGinley is THAT guy. Like a William H. Macy--pops up everywhere but no one remembers his name.

For those Scrubs virgins, you can probably get them on iTunes but they are also floating around the internet (questionably legal). I recommend the first episode and then my personal favorite (season 3, episode 14). You can catch up with the rest later.

Once you start, you'll long for Dr. Cox's rants, J.D's man-crush on Turk, the Janitor tormenting JD, and The Todd. FUN FACT: the Janitor originally was only seen by J.D. but grew into a real staff member at Sacred Heart Hospital.

There is quite the cult following including fansites and drinking games. Tons of clips are available on YouTube and I suggest searching "Scrubs outtakes" and "Dr. Cox rants."

Catch it out tonight at 9pm on ABC!

[Wow, I'm a dork]

Death of the Courtesy Wave and Ode to Mr. Potts

I promised I would explain the title of this blog, so here goes...

For years I've noticed a decline in standards in all aspects of life. Now by no means am I perfect. I am, however, better than everyone else.

Since I have a tendency to ramble on and on, I thought I might some day write a book about life which would serve a as humorous road map (or cautionary tale). This was going to be the title of that book.

So where did this golden phrase come from? Funny you ask! I've been driving for over 10 years now. While I like to consider myself a calm person, these years of driving produced what I like to call selective road rage. I have ZERO tolerance for stupidity. If you decide to move all the way to the right on a single lane street and then come to a stop in the middle of the street with no indication of what you're about to do (not that you have any options other than going straight), I will assume the position behind the wheel (no, not the digitus medius out the window) but my patented "one foot on the break, one hand on the horn" for as long as it takes for you to realize that you're an idiot.

Also, I've noticed that nobody gives the ol' courtesy wave when someone lets them in. It is a dying art that I am doing my part to preserve. I was fortunate to have a good instructor for Drivers Ed (the class to get your license a year early--I mean make you a better driver). The instructor's name was Mr. Potts. He was a tall, older man with thin, wavy hair and rocked the 'stache. He probably was a hippie back in the day. Every week he came to my high school in his 1991 Plymouth Acclaim. He taught us to perfectly parallel park and the k-turn/y-turn/three-point-turn. He made sure we waved when someone let us in on the highway or when we approached a stop sign at an intersection at the same time as the other 3 cars or to the creepy guy in the neighborhood who waved at all the passing cars.

I love driving around Manhattan and having a car around. I've been cut-off my share of times and cut many people off (mostly cabs, but they deserve it). I have yet to receive a courtesy wave, not counting the woman with a stroller who had the right of way and I was patiently waiting to make a right turn.

On a related note, I don't buy into the stereotypes about certain groups as drivers. I am an equal opportunity hater if you drive like Stevie Wonder (because he's blind not cuz he would have an Escalade with 22" chrome rims and thinks he owns the road).

The courtesy wave is neither the cause or effect of society's downfall, rather a symptom. It will serve as my inspiration for many posts to this blog. Just sit back, relax, and enjoy the $8 tub of popcorn.

[In case you were wondering, that driver was so kind to wave me to pass him and go over the double-yellow. I passed him and watch through my mirror as he tried to make a u-turn but fail miserably. He should take a few sessions with Mr. Potts!]

Got Blogs?

While this is my first blog and I've been at it for a whopping 5 days, I am not exactly new to the blogosphere. I may have waiting until the waning hours of 2008 to write my own, but I have been visiting blogs for years.

My first time (still talking about blogging) was in college when we had a class blog. I would read it semi-regularly and comment less regularly. It was one of those classes that was known to be an easy A (which I got) and counted towards my business minor.

Since then I've moved into blogs about topics that interest me and later started following my friends' blogs. Now that (in your best Kramer voice) I'm out there [Jerry] and loving every minute of it, I'll share some of the blogs I follow. On the right side of the page I included this (growing) list of my top blogs.

If you have a blog and want a shout out, leave a comment.

1. AUTOBLOG - Updates on everything cars. News, concepts and can't wait for the full Detroit Auto Show preview. (I'm a bit of a car nut)

2. DON'T STOP BELIEVING! - Law school friend and classmate, who like me is wasting away on the blogosphere rather than making a REAL difference in the world (but she did vote)

3. ENGADGET - All things technology. Yeah, there are lots of geek toys but some of those toys we expected to see at the start of this millennium (ya know, the year 2000, the future!). A few have actually been developed in some form. I like expensive toys and between this blog and Autoblog, I anxiously wait for my flying car but will settle for a Back to the Future hovercraft.

4. GET LUCKY - friend who introduced me to GOOD scotch. That's an automatically shout out.

5. SHE'S JUST THAT GIRL - the only girl I know who can match my sarcasm

Honorable Mention: Ryan Star - Singer, songwriter and reality TV star (not the girl from American Idol).

Fortune Cookies

I like Chinese food. Actually, I like most ethnic cuisine as long as I can identify some of the main ingredients. After the food itself, the next best part of a Chinese dinner has to be the fortune cookies. I don't believe in the prophetic value of those little notes or play the "lucky numbers" even they once paid off big time. Yet I still take the fortune with me and over the years have a nice collection of fortunes that are vague enough that they may be true, putting Miss Cleo to shame. I collect them to honor Confucious, the first fortune cookie writer. Some were quite humrous so kudos to the guy in the factory making 3 cents an hour to come up with this stuff.

This was last night's fortune:
"You can have your cake and eat it to"

Well I was celebrating a birthday (not mine) and then went to the birthday's home for some cake. Sure enough I ate it. I'll let you know if there's a deeper meaning to this. It would have been more fitting before I went out New Years eve--probably would have altered the entire night and thrown the planet out of orbit.

If you're interested, the lucky numbers are 31, 18, 37, 33, 16, and 47 (yes, written in that order).

Good luck and if you win, I want a piece of the winnings.

Can't Forget Resolutions

I know I mentioned in my first post that I don't make resolutions because I can't keep them but I decided to make some anyway. It's my blog and I make the rules. I can lie, cheat, steal, and contradict myself on this blog whenever I want. The stuff that makes the world go round. I'm not like that in real life BUT on my virtual soapbox, societal rules can be slightly bent.

So here are my New Years resolutions:

7. Start smoking
6. Drink more
5. Get back in touch with the friends I've neglected when law school took over my life.
4. Make a point to hang out with friends I no longer see everyday even with all of our hideously awful schedules
3. Start womanizing
2. Stop going to the gym
1. Have 3 businesses up and running by the end of the year.

...Maybe this is why I can't keep my resolutions

So this is the New Year...

...and I don't feel any different.

I know, it's kinda lame, but every New Years that song pops into my head. Last night it came on my Ipod as I was heading to a New Years party. [Editors note: I do not like iPods or iTunes but got an iPod for free and still want an iPhone]

So anyone who knows me knows that I don't make a big deal about birthdays and really don't care about New Years either. I haven't celebrated my own birthday in a number of years not because I feel old (I'm not THAT guy) but because I just don't care and it's just another day in my life. I will gladly celebrate a friend's birthday and go all out for them. But I have the same approach with New Years. IT'S JUST ANOTHER DAY!

Having said that, what did I do for New Years? I planned to stay in or just go to a small gathering at a friend's apartment. In the end, friends from different parts of the US and Canada (who don't know each other) were converging on NYC (how convenient for me) but all were going to some giant party at the same bar that was rented out. I went to this party last year with different friends and it was pretty bad. However, a little bit of arm twisting later, I plunked down the $60 and went. It was a very different group of people from last year and I actually had a really good time. And took full advantage of the open bar so I felt better about the $60.

Happy 2009!!!