Living the I-Society

...no, it's not a new product from Apple.

There are few things I enjoy more than getting dressed up and pretending to be part of high society. I am not rich, in fact I have a law degree and only a part-time job, while carrying a boatload of debt. That still doesn't mean that I can't pretend I'm wealthy every so often. We're talking about attending fundraisers for causes I believe in, networking events with those more successful than I, and the occasional movie premiere (and party). The return on this investment makes it all worth it as I get good use of my tux and suits while also enjoying the networking, catered meals, and open bars. To be honest, the "high society" that I meet at these events are no different than I am--other than a bloated salary. We both need a private elevator car to fit our egos.

This rant is geared towards the I-Society, or the society of "me." We're living in a time where selfishness is prevelant. We fail to se how our actions can impact others. No, I'm not going to segue into global warming (ehem, SHAM!) or socialism. We all know that socialism does not work. Even kibbutz life is on the decline and that is the longest surviving instance of working socialism. I will break my rule about not delving into politics (because I can) and say that any plan to redistrbute wealth on a national level is just a terrible idea (but it does work in professional sports).

ANYWAY, I'm thinking that the problem lies with Apple. Ladies and gentleman, I stand here today to tell you that Steve Jobs is the root of the downturn of society. I don't (really) mean that literally. Apple has made its resurgence with products that preach to the I-Society. Take the iMac, designed with the user in mind, which in many ways outperforms the PC (and looks nicer). Ever hear of the iPod or iPhone? Same thing! Now people ride the subways with their little white earbuds and tune out the world. Marketing an entire portfolio of products that start with "I" is subliminally turning us away from human interaction leading to an inability to function as a society.

Coming soon to a MacWorld convention:
1. The iTown: small parcels of land in their own bubbles; similar to a garage door, a latch at the top of the bubble allows the flying iCars to get residents to and from home.
2. The iStoop: individual stoops for bums to gather with their booze in brown bags; never again will bums congregate on a single stoop
3. The iCan: a briefcase that when opened becomes a personal toilet; never again will peopel have to share a bathroom. Kinda looks like the original iBook BEWARE: if you run out of toilet paper, don't expect anyone to share a square.

CONFESSION: Forgive me William Gates for I have sinned. I gave in to the temptation of greed and own an iPod shuffle (only cost me $100,000) and the sin of lust. In my defense, the iPhone looks so cool!